(Closed) Guest list anxiety

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Unless it’s absolutely vital/expected, I would stop sharing your guest list with the family! We did ours up together and then told our parents in person who was invited. There was a bit of discussion involved, and that was it. The more you involve them, the more they will want a say. If you are planning and paying for it yourselves, there are some details they don’t need to know especially at this early point.

Post # 5
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The guest list is just a pile of politics tainted with family rivalry.  The best way to plow through it is to set some rules and stay by them.  For example:  maybe each set of parents can pick 30 people they want to invite, plus you and your Fiance pick 30 people.

Another example (and what I did):  our parents get to invite their siblings/parents/aunts/uncles, but not cousins.  Only Out of Town guests are invited to bring their kids because it would be hard to find a baby sitter.  And if our parents want to invite anyone who Fiance and I not related to or don’t know, then they get to pay for that added head count.  We applied those rules across the board, and no one could complain that they were being shafted.

Post # 6
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I hear you!  I anticipated inviting NO MORE than 150 – w/ hopes that around 130 would should up…

Our guest list is currently @ 185…..and we can’t cut anymore…..

Post # 7
Member
27 posts
Newbee

I swear it is giving me insomnia. I wanted a really small wedding, but there are just so many obligations. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or upset anyone. I was just so excited about the ring and the man and the day, but now, it is all a series of obligations I have to fulfill. Sigh. I have kept the list under 100. (I wanted under 50) So far, I have put my foot down. If I do not know the person, or if it is a family member of my fiance I haven’t met (over 6 yrs of dating), I refuse to add them.

Post # 8
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh I hear you.  My grandmother asked me last night if I had any extra save the dates and I asked for who.  She said a second cousin of my moms (Whom I’ve met once mind you).  Because she saw someone else’s save the date and wasn’t happy that she didn’t get one.  My mother hasn’t even spoken to this women in YEARS!  I was so annoyed. lol.  Please have entitlement issues and it’s really starting to piss me off.

Post # 9
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My mother’s boss invited herself to my wedding and shower.  I have never met the woman!  I couldn’t pick her out from a line-up. 

Post # 10
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Our wedding is a couple months further away than yours and yes, we’ve experienced guest list frustrations already. But like you, we’re hoping things can settle over the next 7-8 months. I think the guest list is always a source of anxiety!

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