Post # 1
We are having a very small reception (100 people, due to capacity limits of our venue), and I wasn’t planning on inviting any of my cousins—there are 17 of them on my father’s side, over half are under the age of 10 (I was planning an adult-only wedding), and I’m not close with any of them–I see them once a year, sometimes once every two years at holidays.
However, my father, who is very significantly contributing financially to our wedding, very strongly wants me to invite ALL 17 of my cousins. I’m torn–I want to respect my father, but on the other hand, my cousins will completely change the feel of my reception. Besides adding children to the mix, its also going to mean that 17 of my 50 invites (FH and I are splitting the guest list) are to people that I really don’t know or care for, rather than close friends who are going to get the boot. Unfortunately, we’ve already plopped down a big deposit for our reception venue so changing that is out of the question (I might have gotten a bigger place had I known what my dad wanted!)
What to do?
Post # 3
Have you explained to your father that the venue has a restriction on number of guests and you don’t want to use almost 50% of your invites on your cousins?
Post # 4
Normally I would say it is your wedding do what you want but since he is contributing financially you cant do that. I have found in this whole planning process that people have specific visions in their head as to how your day will go even if it is not what you see happening. The best way to understand why it is important him to have them there is to talk about it with him. He may have a specific reason he wants them there. He may not understand the vision you have for your wedding so explain it in detail and use pictures so he understands. If he is still insisting try to compromise and go with kids over the age of 12.
Post # 5
I know it’s a strech, but I would firmly tell him the guest list has been decided as you are the couple.
Only those you are close to deserve reception invites, and let him know that after ALL your friends have been added you only have a certain number available for those over the age of 18 as this is an ‘adult’ evening.