- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Hi Bee’s – here’s another “invite or not to invite” thread (LOL)
We are ready to send out invites Monday, guest list has been set for months. STD’s were sent out in October Shower was last Sunday and wedding is two months from today. Yesterday FIL’s bring up a couple (for the third time) that they want invited. Here is the back story:
This couple is FMIL’s brother-in-law’s sister and her husband (we’ll call them Mr. & Mrs. A). We see these people at easter because FMIL’s sister and husband have them and us over for breakfast, and we see them again during our cities fair as we all sit together for one night of fireworks. Mr. & Mrs. A also have two children around FI’s brothers ages, so we see them periodically at school functions/sporting events. Recently Mr. A’s mother passed and offered Fiance and I to look at/take anything in her house we wanted. We took a dresser and mirror set for our spare bedroom. (this comes into play later)
When coming up with our guest list and asking FIL’s for a list of people they’d like to invite, Mr. & Mrs. A were never mentioned. After STD’s were sent Future Mother-In-Law asked if we had included them and Fiance and I told her no. She asked us to consider. We talked and I told Fiance it was up to him. At this point we were close to our limit on people the venue could hold, but we could have still had them. Fiance said he didn’t feel they were an important enough part of his life to have them at our wedding. We told Future Mother-In-Law our choice and that was that. When it was time for the shower I made an invite list based on our guest list and gave it to Future Mother-In-Law asking if I had forgotten anyone, etc. She wrote “Mrs. A?” and gave it back. I called her and explained that since Mrs. A was not invited to the wedding I didn’t feel it was appropriate to invite her to the shower, Future Mother-In-Law agreed and that was that.
Fast forward to yesterday. Future Mother-In-Law brings them up again when we tell them that we are sending invites out monday. Again Fiance and I tell her they are not invited. She gets huffy and tells us how important they are to FI’s life and how they’ve seen him grow up etc. also telling us “well you will have some of his mom’s furniture, don’t you think you should invite them?” We stand our ground. An hour later FIL’s come down and want to “discuss” having Mr. & Mrs. A invited. Basically telling us that they will be invited. I politely bring up the 6 other people Future Mother-In-Law added to the guest list that I complied with after setting the list, and that we are currently 20 people over the venues limit (which makes me very uncomfortable). She tells me it isn’t her fault we are over and that my family has more than hers invited (we are just about even give or take 5 people – not that it matters). They tell us they will pay for Mr. & Mrs. A’s plates if thats an issue. We again tell them what we discussed and instead of hearing what we are saying Future Father-In-Law says “well thanks for the consideration, we really appreciate it and can’t wait to have them” WTF
Fiance and I are paying for this wedding ourselves, FIL’s have not contributed anything (not that we expect them too, this is our wedding and we will pay for it). I’m so tired of saying NO and not being heard. Fiance and I talked about it AGAIN and still stand with our original decision. Fiance says he’ll talk to his parents alone so that maybe it will get through to them. I’m thinking of maybe giving them a choice. Mr. & Mrs. A can be invited, but then we need to remove 2 guests from their list in order to accomodate them. What would you do? Give them the choice? Stick your ground? Or just invite them to stop the buggin?