- 1 year ago
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
All Right Bees,
I’ve been fretting about this for weeks, and I’m finally gonna ask for help.
First, let me acknowledge, this is a problem of my own making and could have been avoided with just a teensy bit of additional patience on my part. Mea Culpa, etc
FH and I had originally planned a much bigger wedding. For a variety of reasons, we decided to make it much smaller, and have a mini-destination wedding instead of a larger event closer to home. We settled on a plan over a year ago, and while initially shooting for a 2018 date, postponed until 2019
I have been planning this wedding in my head for so long, when we finally set a date and plunked down on the venue, I got super excited and started by sending out an email Save the Date. I did this not only because I was excited, but because our destination requires international travel and I know for a fact not everyone has a passport.
When we were booking the event space, I looked at the capacity chart published by the venue. It stated there was a 25 person limit for the space. Cool. I had 24 people I wanted to invite, and SURELY not everyone was going to make it.
So I sent out the email to 24 people. And sure enough, 3 declined immediately, because they are going to be at the rugby world championship in Japan that weekend. No worries.
Everyone else wrote back saying they were in.
Then, I get the contract from the venue and it states the room capacity is TWENTY. I call the coordinator and ask if I am reading that right, considering the chart in the event planning brochure says 25 She says that in order to allow space for the ceremony at the front of the room, and adequate space for the banquet tables, they cap it at 20 guests and there’s no wiggle room.
Later in the conversation I ask about vendor meals, because I know it’s customary to provide those. I tell her I have 3 people I would want to feed. She tells me I can either buy them a credit at the hotel deli, or allow them to have the same meal as my guests and eat with us.
Okay, wait what? We can have 23 people if 3 of them are vendors??
At any rate, I am now freaking out because I sent a STD to more people than the space can accomodate. I haven’t sent invitations yet, but I will be doing that in the next month or two. Timelines say to allow 10 months for an international destination, which is early January.
What do I do? Not send an invite to everyone, hope someone sends regrets and then send second string invites? Do I try to pick someone and call them to explain that Hey, I’m a moron and I relied on the wrong information to calculate my guest count?
I’ve already told the single people we can’t extend plus ones and that it’s a no-kid wedding, so invitees are all pretty close and important with no stragglers.
I know there’s no etiquette appropriate way to handle this. Just looking for thoughts…