Guest List Dillemma

posted 1 year ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t forget to include yourselves in the count.  Are you sure everyone will attend?  People notoriously say yes to destination weddings and then bail when it get closer and they realize how expensive and/or time consuming it will be.  Finally, is there somewhere else you could have this at the same general location.  20 is pretty small. 

Post # 3
Member
5720 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Firstly, for the vendors just buy the hotel food credit rather than having them eat with you and count towards the numbers.  

If it is a destination wedding do they need to purchase flights? Can you casually ask people if they will be able to make it, at least that way you know what your numbers are.  Some people might not be able to come and then you’ve saved yourself the worry and hassle. 

Did you pay the deposit before getting the contract?  If so you could use that as a reason to cancel and get your money back, since their website states 25 and then find somewhere else as a last resort? 

Post # 4
Member
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

teamroro :  The count of 20 is for you, FH, vendors, and guest. So… with you, FH, and 3 vendors that is 15 open spots. You may want to clarify this with the venue. It seems your list is 15 people to invite. 

Post # 5
Member
4578 posts
Honey bee

Are you including you and your spouse in the headcount?  Because your post switches between saying max people and max guests.  The former means you need to include you and your spouse (and likely vendors)  in the count, in the latter you wouldn’t (though might still need to include your vendors).

Do they not have any other space?  A different banquet room?  Otherwise I would probably start searching for a new venue asap.  You need to give yourself more wiggle room.  Someone could have a significant other between now and the wedding.  Something could happen that causes one of the three planning on going to the rugby thing to end up not going and changing their mind about the wedding.  You just never know.

Good planning means giving yourself some flexibility to allow for contingency planning.

Post # 7
Member
3536 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

teamroro :  vendors don’t typically count against the numbers because they don’t usually sit at the tables to eat (and the space is limited by the number of butts in seats). 

Id just give your vendors the same meal as your guests. 

As for numbers – right now, I’d say just don’t worry about it. It’s highly unlikely that everyone who says they’re going to come actually will, so chances are it won’t be a problem. Cross that bridge when you come to it (which to met would be just having the venue squeeze in an extra 5 people if necessary). 

Post # 8
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

See if they can put the food outside the room, or get married right outside then go in and eat. Or just demand they figure out a way to squeeze 3 more in. 

Post # 9
Member
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

teamroro :   catskillsinjune :  OP, your vendors should be given a seat to rest and eat. Please do not be so rude as to not offer them a place and time to rest and eat. 

Post # 10
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

So you’ve invited 24 and so far 3 declined and your total is at 21 right now? In the unlikely event that every single person left invited comes, I’m sure they’ll be able to squeeze in one extra guest somewhere.

Post # 11
Member
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I agree that desination weddings sound like fun, and you think you can make it work when you first get invited but when timing/cost sets in, people are more likely to drop out. I wouldn’t do anything now, see if it resolves itself on its own. 

Post # 12
Member
3533 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Is there an outdoor ceremony space that they could set up for you instead of doing it in the already small room?

Post # 13
Member
5720 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

BrideK2Wings :  I don’t think anyone was suggesting the vendors don’t actually have a seat to eat but that they don’t sit at the actual wedding tables. 

Post # 14
Member
693 posts
Busy bee

Could you get your day of coordinator to dismantle your ceremony set up after the ceremony? I have been to and worked at weddings where the team swiftly moves ceremony things out and places tables with settings in under 5 minutes. It’s pretty common where I’m from. 

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