Post # 1
Oh man… We have sent out our invites and the drama begins!!!!!
For our wedding we sent invites to couples when it was a married/serious couple, and if not we sent the invite to the person’s specific name. My mom insisted on inviting all her cousins to the weddings, most of whom I have only met a handful of times and know nothing about. She provided the list and that’s exactly who I invited. Today I got a very upset call from my Grandma, that her sister flipped out at her over the wedding. I invited all of her children, only one of whom was married. Her one daughter has a boyfriend (who I didn’t know existed), and she was furious that I didn’t put his name on the invite. My grandma explained that I didn’t know she had a boyfriend but she could invite him, but that wasn’t good enough. She said my behaviour is inexcusable and none of them will be attending the wedding because of how rude I am and how badly I’ve treated them, and also blaming my grandma for being so rude for allowing me to act like that. Honestly i’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have attended anyways and this is just an excuse, because for my sister’s wedding they didn’t come because it was too far to travel. My grandma is particularly upset because her sister has recently been very ill and my aunt (grandma’s daughter) spent a lot of time taking care of her, and gave her considerable more attention then her own children gave her.
My grandma is insisting I issue a written apology to my mom’s cousin AND resend the invite with the boyfriends name (which I still don’t even know by the way), but honestly I just don’t think that’s right. I think that if she wants to bring him she should just say so in the RSVP, and that this is no way for a woman in her 40s to act. And I definitely don’t plan on writing apologies to every guest invited without a guest of her own. They love to talk so I’m sure if I apologize to her there will be many more I need to send. So now my grandma is caught in the middle and upset with me, but I just don’t want to encourage this ridiculous behaviour. And honestly if they are all this upset at me, I don’t think I want them at the wedding, because I’m sure they will all still be bitter.
So hive, what can I do here? Any suggestions? I’m so frustrated!
Post # 3
Oops I wanted to post this in family can someone move it?
Post # 4
I think you need to stand your ground. That woman is completely ridiculous. Who complains about wedding invitations like that? You extended your hand and she slapped it away. It sucks your Grandma is upset with you, but honestly I think she’ll get over it. Tell her you love her, you’re sorry this is hurting her feelings and she’s upset with you, but that you won’t reward that kind of behavior.
I’d be thrilled they weren’t coming.
Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.
Post # 5
Every time I see threads like this I think “This HAS to be either fake or a total misunderstanding.” There’s no way people can genuinely act like that and get SO upset over something SO insignificant, right? Right!?
Post # 6
i agree with VintageDivine.
However, if you want to mend it over some you may still contact the aunt to let her know you’re sorry about the misunderstanding but i would definitely mention how you you didn’t know the cousin had a boyfriend and that was why he was not on the invite. I would also call her instead of writing that way nothing gets misunderstood further (IF you decide it’s worth the time and effort). Since you don’t seem to mind the boyfriend coming this would also allow you to extend the invitation. Personally I would want to let it drop since the aunt completely overreacted. would you really want someone like that at your wedding? but i also know that if i was in your position i would be feeling really bad and would probably call her to discuss it.
let us know how it works out!
Post # 7
@VintageDivine: Thanks for backing me! I feel like any apology I give would be totally fake, and I’m only interested in having people around who genuinely want to celebrate, not run around and complain about me behind my back
@stacyreeves: I am pretty surprised about it, but I don’t know this woman at all and my grandma has said that’s kind of just how she is. Any times that I’ve met her she’s been very nice to me. It could be her mother is the one who is so upset, but it’s WEIRD. I had a friend from the city where I used to live who I thought was single and invited just him. And he simply called, said he had a new gf and he’d like to bring her, and I said alright. Totally drama free. I have no idea what the deal is here. arg
Post # 8
Don’t write the apology, you did nothing wrong. They are definitely being ridiculous and are trying to start more drama by involving your grandma. I would explain to your grandma that you’re sorry she’s been put in the middle but you don’t agree with them and would be better off with them not coming if they get this upset over something so insignificant.
Post # 9
That’s ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to invite people you don’t even know exist. If you’re even allowing her to bring the boyfriend, thats way more than kind. I would say send them all to hell.
Post # 10
I agree with the OP, I would just drop it and let your grandma know that you are sorry they are trying to use her to create drama, but that you aren’t going to dignify this by appologizing to a guest for not inviting their unknown SO to your wedding.
Post # 11
Ugh, if they probably weren’t going to come anyways, then whatever… let them use this as an excuse, you said your not close anyways, so no big loss. Thats rediculous, you did nothing wrong and don’t need to be writing or giving any apology…. unless its to say sorry they were offended for no reason.