(Closed) Guest List DRAMA!!!

posted 9 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

You and Your Fiance make the guestlist… Talk together (you and your FI) to really get on the same page about your guest count and what the two of you invision for ya’lls day… talk with each mom about this and that you and he will be compiling a list with your mom(s) lists as suggested guests, but that ultimately not everyone will be able to be invited.

And then just stick with it….

Just to add, incase it’s a factor: I don’t think that money should ever be a deciding factor for who’s wedding it “is” and that most everything should fit with what you and he want and not what Mother-In-Law, Mom, Grandma, etc want b/c they’re contributing and think they should have a say…

Just love them and you and your FH stick together on it =)

Goodluck

Post # 4
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

As long as you and your Fiance are a unified team, it doesn’t matter whose paying for what. It’s your wedding. You don’t need your FMIL’s neighbor down the street from 10 years ago there. As long as you are both unified, you two will make the list and have each other’s backs with the decisions you make for who you want sharing in your special day!

Good Luck:)

Post # 5
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

“We are having no more than 150 guests total. You need to cut X number for this too work. If it’s not possible for you, Fiance and I will do it ourselves.”

Post # 6
Member
47436 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you were sticking to your vision of 150 guests, I suggest this script. (obviously it’s more than 150 as you, your Fiance and your mom already have over 200 on the list).

We have chosen to have a wedding with 150 guests maximum.

 We can allot______ seats to you.

 Please finalize your list and return it to us  by __________ or we will only send out invitations to the first__________ on your previous list.

Post # 7
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@julies1949: LOVE IT!! 

We’re paying for our own wedding, and on a budget of a need-to-be-there basis.  Between the FH and I, we dont have room to invite friends of the family that we dont remember – we’re sticking to 150.  I don’t know the etiquette of inviting people, but we have approximately 100 invites that we plan to send out. 

Post # 8
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with pp.

Can you blame it on the venue? Unfortunately, we are only able to accomodate 150.

We will have to be very selective of the guests from each list, and it kills me that we will be unable to have everyone that we would like to have there.

Fiance and I will go over the lists very carefully, and cut it down the best we can.

She might be pissed at first, but she’ll get over it.

My Mother-In-Law wanted to invite a woman I’ve never met and her husband to our wedding of 50 max. I flat out told her no, you can invite her if we have room once all of the rsvps come back though. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to have people I don’t even know there at the expense of inviting people I’ve known all my life.

Post # 9
Member
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s good if you can blame the fire marshall.   As in, only xxx amount of people are allowed at our venue.   Good Luck! 

Post # 10
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@creativeplannertobee:  Awesome!!! 

And really – there is a capacity – YOUR capacity.  Financially, emotionally, physically due to your responsibilities as the bride. 

*Side note* If you invite people that you all dont know well, chances are they won’t come and on the good side you may get gifts/money with an” X Unable to attend”. This shouldnt be an expected thing, but would be a pleasant surprise.

Besides… How many people do you invite that absolutely show up?  I was confused when deciding how many invites to do.  We want 150 ppl max, but do we invite 150 or 175 with an expectancy of some declines? 

Post # 11
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i have to disagree with some of the PP- unfortunately, whoever is paying does have input in these types of decisions.  money always has strings.  that being said, i couldn’t tell from your post who is paying for the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@Mrs. Meowerson: I’ve been disappointed that my family hasnt offered to help with anything, so I may be a bit biased on who has sayso… I’ve had very – and I do mean VERY little input from family as far as opinions, and no input financially, so the FH and I are calling the shots.

Post # 13
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I know what you’re going through! My Fiance and I sat down and made a guest list, writing down names from his side and my side. We’re having a very small private ceremony! We explained to the parents that we really just wanted it to be our very closest friends and parents (And siblings). They agreed! All was great in wedding world! I went to bed happy, stress free. Then a week later after I finished my DIY invites, my Future Mother-In-Law shows up with a list of 42 families. NOT individual people, we’re talking about 42 different families!!!!! I thought I was going to have a stroke! I immediately started blubbering NO NO NO! She was so upset that her family wouldn’t be “Represented!”. I don’t understand her! My Fiance suffers from social anxiety! He would literally pass out if there were that many people at our ceremony! In the end, I stuck with the guest list that we made out on our own but, she posted an event on facebook, inviting her entire family to our ceremony! All I can do at this point is laugh! I have nothing left! We’re having a reception in order to share the big day with all of our family but she isn’t happy with that either. Hang in there!

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