Post # 1
We’re planning a smallish and nontraditional wedding and have limited room for anyone besides our family and close friends. His parents are really upset and angry that we can’t invite all of their closest friends and some extended family (who we are not close with!). We’re really excited about the venue and the style of our reception and we’re paying for the wedding. How can we defuse the situation without compromising what we want?
Post # 3
@jj115: Do what you want! Its your wedding
Post # 4
If they want them there, they should pay for the plates.
Post # 5
Just ignore them, change the subject on to something else going on with the big day, but don’t feel guilty! As you said, your not close with them!
Post # 6
@DDG84: It’s a capacity issue with our venue, not a cost issue. It’s really that we have our own vision of what the wedding will be like, but his immediate family members are becoming upset because they cannot invite anyone. Is there a graceful way he or we can to tell them to pipe down?
Post # 7
@jj115: “Its not YOUR wedding”.
Post # 8
Just tell them that due to restrictions at the venue, you can’t invite everyone you would like. Then change the subject.
You’re allowed to have the wedding you want.
Post # 9
I’d say politely say you’re doing what works for both you and your Fiance. Stick with it and ultimately they’ll probably come around once the wedding comes and they see how beautiful it is. And try to focus not on the venue, but more focus on telling them the “feeling” of the wedding you want, that you want it intimate and small and lovely. Ultimately if they love you both, they’ll calm down and come around. Otherwise…just have to be happy with your decision because its your own!
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour
I would just explain that yoiur venue has room for X amount of people and because of it, you have to limit your guest list. Appologize for not being able to accomidate them, but state that you won’t compromise on your dream location.
You can always but those extended family members on such on a B list, and if you have extra room due to people declining your invite, ask them then.
Post # 11
Weddings in the olden days were usually 200-300 person affairs, which is why parents don’t understand the whole “under 75 people, intimate weddings” that a lot of us go for.
Explain to them that you’ve paid the deposit, you guys have your own vision, and you’re paying for it yourself.
Better yet, just stop talking wedding with them until they have time to “process” your decision.