(Closed) Guest list drama between my fiancé and parents…Help!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I really don’t think your Fiance is going to notice those extra 6 people there, especially if your mom is willing to pay for them to be there. 

I had trouble with parents inviting friends but if your parents are paying (mine are, too) then it is partly “their party” too.   They are hosting the dinner and they’ll want someone to talk to during the night.  

Post # 4
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

hm, how many friends are your parents inviting without the 6 new people?  if your fiance’s parents are only inviting four friends, are the vast majority of the invitees your guys’ friends?

also, these 6 people, by your own admission, AREN’T strangers.  you know them, even if you’ve only seen them a handful of times over the past few years.

 

Post # 7
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@leadmeastray88:  Have you met every member of his family who are invited?  

To me it’s as simple as: they are paying. 

If you guys can host the entire thing, then you get to pick the entire guest list. 

Post # 8
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@leadmeastray88:  I know how you feel! Im put in the same situation but me and Fiance are paying for the wedding.

If your folks and his are paying, your Fiance shouldnt be huffy puffy about your mom inviting a few more that shes going ot pay for,

My situation is that my FI’s folks want to invite a crapload of people and I have to pay for them. Thats not fair.

Post # 10
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I don’t think it’s a big deal – you’re very likely to have more than 10 ‘no’ responses so I think the extra 6 will help keep you over the 150 minimum. 

Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have seen some serious guest list horror stories (and heard some from friends, actually), so maybe that is coloring my view, but 6 people sounds pretty reasonable to me. Especially if you’re having 150 people. That’s not exactly “intimate”, KWIM? Like another poster said, you probably won’t even notice them. Maybe your fiance is worried his parents will be upset? I just think it would come off as ungrateful to deny your mom, who’s paying for half the event, a reasonable request.

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

My parents invited a bunch of their friends who I barely knew.  I tried to fight it in the beginning but then just gave in.  

Let me tell you, I didn’t notice them for a second, (except when we did table visits).  We spent the majority of the night with people we did know, (our friends and family), and my parents were happy to have their friends there to celebrate the occasion with them.  It was a win win.  It’s hard to admit, but I was totally wrong in trying to fight it.

It’s a big day not just for you but also for your parents.  They’re excited about their daughter getting married and they want to share that with their friends too.  You have to try to explain that to your Fiance.  You don’t want to start off your marriage with a wedge between him and your parents.  If he denies them this, they will have that against him for a long time. Does he really want that?

Post # 13
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

Since she’s footing half the bill & willing to pay for their portion, then she should be able to invite them.  It’s a bit unreasonable for her to be unable to invite her friends if she partially pays for the bill.  Plus, a group of 6 is very small so I don’t think your Fiance will notice them at all.   

Post # 14
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think you have to tell your FH to suck it up and let your parents invite them.  If they are paying, they have a say in who’s invited.

There will be enough people there that he won’t have to interact with them – when you visit tables, you can just go by yourself to that one.

Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i think you should just let them invite their friends.  it is VERY wonderful of them to be footing half the bill!!! you are a very lucky girl.

 

Post # 16
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We are allowing my Fiance parents to invite about 16 people and my parents are inviting 8. Fiance parents said they will gladly give us more money if we go over our projected number of 150 people if it is due to their friends. I can’t argue with that!

Plus, it’s important to remember that as much as our weddings are to celebrate our relationship and committment, it’s a really huge day for our parents, too…so I vote to let them have some fun and invite the few people they’d like. You will be too busy to feel bogged down by a few additional guests you don’t really know!

The topic ‘Guest list drama between my fiancé and parents…Help!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors