(Closed) Guest list drama-How do I say no nicely?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with your mom.  Politely say no because the venue is full. 

Post # 5
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with your mom… word for word actually. “Explain the venue if full and then just. say. no“. You are being courteous by including her and offering her a +1, you don’t need to add 4 more guests for someone you hardly know.

Post # 6
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yes, say the same for the shower. You don’t want them bringing you gifts if they aren’t invited to the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yes, say the same for the shower.  If you can’t say the venue is full for the shower say the BMs are working with a strict budget or the Maid/Matron of Honor has planned for a specific number or guests or something like that.  

Post # 8
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee

Agree with the other posters.  Memorize this line and use it liberally, “I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible”

I don’t think you should give them any reason, nor are you required to.  It won’t be possible, they then have the oportunity to either accept the invitation as it was originally issued or decline. 

 

Post # 10
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@lolo7835: What does added them to the list mean?  That they called or sent out an invite?  If they called I would ask them to call back and tell them there was a mistake.

Post # 12
Member
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

So many people treat other people’s wedding as their own personal family reunion. You are not allowed to bring your sister and her boyfriend and your daughter for company!! I would just explain that your hands are tied; you have a strict number you are allowed and you have met that number.

Just saw what your bridesmaids did… I would say to them, after explaining they cannot come to the wedding, “Of course, I will understand if you choose not to come to the shower since I cannot accommodate you at the wedding.” Then you don’t look gift grabby, nor did you revoke the shower invite.

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