(Closed) Guest list Drama (immediate Family) Please help suggestions

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
8374 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would tell them that, despite their separation and intent to divorce, as long as they are legally married to each other, you are not comfortable with either of them bringing a date to your wedding.

Post # 17
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

OP really it seems like this is pretty simple when the complicated drama is taken out: you set a rule of no plus ones unless engaged/married. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is cool with it and your brother wants to be the exception but that’s your rule so I would definitely stick to it. He’s being immature. Good luck! Hope it all works out! 

Post # 18
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

Also, bride def has complete freedom to choose her Maid/Matron of Honor. This is not high school, she can stay bffs with someone her brother is not married to anymore, especially since she’s her niece’s mother. I think the whole “I don’t like her anymore so you can’t like her either” mentality is ridiculous. Also that isn’t even what this thread is about so all y’all can calm down plz

Post # 19
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This board is about weddings.  I hope to most people here that means more than the wedding, but to think about what marriage means.  I feel awful for divorced people, and would NEVER say to a sibling, get over it.  Yes, this not high school.  I didnt know any married people in HS.  Its not like breaking up with a HS BF or Girlfriend.  It is much more serious.  My heart would go out to my brother. 

Post # 20
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I understand your +1 rules, but this specific situation is putting you in such a tough spot. Would it be easier on everyone involved to just give them both a +1. Yes, it stinks to pay for these extras, but in the long run I think it might be worth the cost to put this drama behind you. If your Maid/Matron of Honor does not want to bring her boyfriend, I would let her know that his new girlfriend is attending. I’m sure this whole situation is awkward for her (and your bro) in general and a fair warning of any new SO’s attending should warrent a warning on both sides if you choose to do so. 

Post # 21
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

Stand your ground. He appears to want his ex to show up alone so he can flaunt his new gf. Sorry but I think he’s in danger of trying to use your wedding to have a cheap dig at his ex. No plus 1s for either.

Post # 22
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
juanita.kelly.9:  yes but she isn’t pushing for her bf to go, the brother is. Let’s just say I disagree with your stance on the subject and leave it at that.

Post # 24
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
BizzyBeeBuzz15:  Kudos to you. I think it is great that you are making a point to showing your Niece that her Mother is still a part of the family and important to you.

Post # 25
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would either say that both of them can bring their partners or neither of them can.

Post # 26
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
BizzyBeeBuzz15:  I would tell your brother that if hes bringing a date so is his ex. 

Post # 28
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
BizzyBeeBuzz15:  That is such a tough situation, I am so sorry that your brother is acting like this. I’ve dealt with A LOT of family and close friend (basically like my sister) causing a lot of drama in my wedding.

Perhaps explain to your brother that if he gets a plus one, she gets a plus one. You’re trying to keep everyone happy but it’s unfair that he gets to bring some new girlfriend and she’s not allowed to bring someone. I feel like he’s doing it because he wants to flaunt her (granted I don’t know anyone in this situation so I could be TOTALLY wrong). If his new gf doesn’t want him around his ex and baby mama then she’s got insecurity issues and it’ll never work because she needs to be confident and accept that his ex will always be in the picture since they share a child… but back to your wedding… its YOUR decision. Do what YOU want. He will eventually get over it and respect your decision.

The topic ‘Guest list Drama (immediate Family) Please help suggestions’ is closed to new replies.

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