- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Argh!!!!!!!!!! This was the time I’ve been dreading since September when we sent out our Save-The-Date Cards and had our last battle with Future In-Laws.
Quick background: Future Mother-In-Law has an invitation business, she has been handling all of the paper needs (FILs are paying for this). She’s been trying to control every step of the way, in terms of who she thinks should be invited. When the Save-The-Date Cards came in, she started addressing all of hers without bothering to tell me or my parents (who are paying) her full guest list. We quickly found out she had way more than her share and she cut people off her list. FH and I have been in full control of monitoring the guest list since we mailed out the Save-The-Date Cards and know who was on Future In-Laws list. Again, Future In-Laws are NOT paying for anything with the actual wedding, just the invitations.
Now our invitations are going to the calligrapher (again, Future In-Laws insist on this, they are paying). I only knew the calligrapher by her first name, but did a little stalking and found her contact info, and seriously considered emailing her with our guest list directly as I dreaded the moment I had to show Future In-Laws the guest list, because then they are given opportunity to make changes. I feel Future In-Laws are being sneaky in trying to add on people, FH says they are just scatter-brained and forgetful.
Nonetheless, I finalized all my addresses and guests, and forwarded the list to Father-In-Law last night. This morning I get a reply telling me to remove FSIL’s (their daughter) guest and also FCIL’s guest, and to then add another couple they ‘forgot.’
My blood started boiling. I understand they may not realize the tedious calculations I went through to ensure we are as close to our target of 140 guests attending as possible, but they can’t just take people off their side and add other people instead! First of all, while we invited Future Sister-In-Law with a guest, it was mostly for courtesy. She isn’t seeing anyone, but she is in the bridal party and we felt everyone in the bridal party should be allowed a date regardless of their current relationship status. However, in my probability calculations, we assumed she wouldn’t bring a date, so removing FSIL’s date doesn’t give Future In-Laws a ‘freebie.’
Secondly, we haven’t met him too many times, but FCIL has been with her Boyfriend or Best Friend for probably almost 2 years. We called up FH’s grandmother to ask her about inviting him, as she would have a better idea than Future In-Laws. We felt that people in a long-term relationship should be invited with their SO. FH’s grandmother confirmed that yes, invite FCIL with a guest and also it was the right thing to do. Now Future Mother-In-Law has ignored that just so she can add her forgotten guests (who FH and I don’t even know BTW).
So I told FH to tell his parents that they can’t just remove people and assume they can replace them. He called Future Father-In-Law and told him that we are still going to invite FCIL’s Boyfriend or Best Friend, and that FSIL’s date was already assumed as not attending, and they can either put their extras on the B list or pay for them, as my calculations have us a bit over 140 at the moment.
And to top it all off, Future Mother-In-Law is trying to control the sending out of the invitations, which CANNOT happen. She told FH that she wants to pay for the postage, so she’ll just stuff them all. I understand she paid for them, but my parents are paying for the wedding, and I need to see for myself who is actually receiving an invitation. FH told her that we will be assembling the invitations at our house; she can come to the post office and pay for the postage if she wants. And I know she was not happy with his response.
FH insists his parents do not have any malicious intentions, but at every guest list conversation they are sneaking more guests on!! I just can’t wait until the invites are OUT, I just fear that Future Mother-In-Law ordered a lot of extra and will try to send out more invites behind our backs!
I realize I am possibly being ridiculous, and feel free to tell me so, but I just had to get this out before I explode!
Rant over (thanks for reading)