(Closed) Guest List Drama…what else is new, eh?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

How does your Fiance feel about the whole thing, and specifically about inviting his uncle? 

Post # 5
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think you definitely need to know where your Fiance stands in relationship with these people. And then he needs to talk to his mom. Generally speaking you can’t oust 1 uncle just because someone in the family doesn’t “like” them…. I mean unless ya’ll were worried about someone getting physically hurt b/c of an outburst then I’d say he should be invited just like all the other aunts & unlces. Also, if you invite the daughter and the wife it would be EXTREMELY hurtful to not invite him. I would also ask her about the verbal invites merely because they too should get a formal invite and you need their information to do so.

Sorry you’re dealing with the family issues. hope it gets worked out quickly 😉

Post # 7
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Other than your Future Mother-In-Law preference you have no grounds to not invite him (etiquette wise)… pretty much send him and invite and leave it to him whether or not the Future Mother-In-Law adversity is more than he wants to deal with… more than likely he’d be willing to set that aside to be a part of you and your FIs day.

And I would probably get a little more firm with her about the verbal invites. 1. it’s not her wedding and 2. even if you are okay with the invitee you still need to follow with a formal invite and need a head count.

Good luck with it all =)

Post # 8
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

1) Especially since you and your fiancé are paying for the wedding, I believe you have the ultimate, final say as to who gets invited and who does not.

2) No, you are not out of line. Future Mother-In-Law is out of line.

3) Your fiancé needs to inform you who he wants to invite. This is HIS side of the family. He needs to step up and make a decision. Further, he needs to talk with his mom and request that she cease inviting people verbally because it is not her business to do so, it is his and yours as the engaged couple paying for the wedding. Her antics are throwing off the guest count and that is rude, putting pressure on your aunt and uncle who are trying very hard to accommodate and host her son’s wedding! Seriously! Last, his Mom needs to grow up and be mature and cordial during your wedding regardless of who is or who is not there.

Send out the invites as you see fit. If you get flack from anyone, request that they need to be adults and get along, if only for a few hours for the sake of YOUR wedding. If they can’t suck it up, they don’t have to come. Yes, that goes for Future Mother-In-Law, too. (Geez, I’m layin’ down the law tonight! Sorry to be harsh. Ha!)

As for your Aunt, all she can hope for at this time, and all you can give her, is an estimate. You don’t have responses back from people yet, so you would just be guessing if she wants an answer “soon-ish”. So, give her an estimate as best you can, taking into account that some people will be no-shows. 

Post # 9
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’d let your Fiance to make the final call on this one. His family, his problem (at least more than it’s your problem). 

The topic ‘Guest List Drama…what else is new, eh?’ is closed to new replies.

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