Guest List Etiquette

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
9720 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

No. You do not have to invite the children of your guests (adult or not).

ETA: I would either invite all cousins or no cousins. But just inviting aunts and uncles is totally fine.

Post # 4
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

We invited aunts and uncles and no cousins.  So long as you stick with inviting in ‘circles’ you’re fine πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
27 posts
Newbee

My partner has 25 cousins who are all married with 3/4 children each! Luckily he has come round to the fact that there is no way we can invite them all! And hopefully they’ll be understanding of that.. I say just invite your aunts and uncles! Remember it’s your day and I’m sure people will understand that, even if they don’t at first πŸ˜•

Post # 7
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

missimagination :  no issues, no one minded.  Not inviting cousins is pretty normal in our family though, to be fair.

Post # 8
Member
13667 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

All you have to do is be fair – so draw a line at “no adult children” and make no exceptions.  At that point, no one should have hurt feelings.  You get into the bad territory when you start making exceptions and looking like you prioritize one relationship over another.

Post # 9
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Don’t worry about what others will think because it’s not about them, it’s about you. It’s your wedding, your day, your way. You invite who you want and you shouldnt invite people out of obligation. You need to do what makes you happy. If people cant respect your wishes then they don’t need to go to your wedding. I’m having a private wedding ceremony and on my invitations im saying “due to the private and intimate nature of our wedding we kindly ask that everyone understands and respects the invitation is only meant for the names of the individuals mentioned on the invitations we have sent out” also I’m saying “dear (name of individual/individuals, we will be getting married in a small private wedding ceremony. We have reserved (number) of seats in your honor for the names of the individuals mentioned on the invitation. We hope you will be able to celebrate with us on our special day”. I’m also including a “details and information” sheet that I’m sending out with all my wedding invitations explaining everything there is to know about our wedding so we don’t have a bunch of people calling and asking for those things making us repeat ourselves over and over again so doing it like that solves that problem. 

Post # 10
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We invited 50 or our wedding. 

We invited immediate family, aunts/uncles, and friends. No kids and no cousins. No one said a thing. 

Post # 11
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

It’s perfectly acceptable to invite aunts and uncles without cousins.

We’re inviting cousins on my Mum’s side (aged 12 and 15 – their parents live in a different country so have a long way to travel) and not on my Dad’s side. My Dad is 20 years older than my Mum and most of my cousins have children and grandchildren of their own as they’re much older than me by a good 20-30 years. Some of them I’ve never met and can’t even name (there are also so many half-cousins and step-cousins which further complicates). So I realised I don’t know them well enough and aren’t inviting them. We’re inviting cousins on both sides for Fiance, but I can hand on heart say he is much closer to his than I am to mine. I’ve met more of his cousins and their children than I’ve met of my own on my Dad’s side for some of my (many) Aunts and Uncles.

It all depends how close you are to them as to whether you invite them. If you can’t invite many people, don’t lose out on inviting good friends for the sake of cousins if you aren’t close.

Post # 12
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

My family has been hosting adult weddings since I was a kid – 50 years ago. Regardless of “circles” it’s rare that anyone under 21 is invited to a wedding. The exceptions sometimes being the children of the couple, little ones in the bridal party, and nieces/nephews.

Post # 13
Member
864 posts
Busy bee

We invited some adult children of his great Aunts… The Aunts are over 80 and would be unable to attend if their kids did not escort them… He invited no first cousins, I only invited the ones that I have a relationship with… Completely up to you… Since you didn’t say otherwise I’m assuming the uncles and aunts are independently mobile.

Post # 15
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

missimagination :  well you have to do what makes you happy. What you say goes and if people dont like it then they dont have to go to your wedding. This is about you and your happiness. If you focus too much on making others happy you won’t have the wedding of your dreams.

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