(Closed) Guest List Etiquette Help Needed

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@aazadm:  I had to do this for our destination wedding – we had a very limited guest list. Sadly, I kind of felt like there was no easy way of saying ‘sorry, can’t come.’ We went with a combo of spreading it through the family via my Mother-In-Law, my mom and my sister and us bringing it up in conversation that we would be having a very small, intimate ceremony due to budgetary reasons. When we spoke to people who wouldn’t be receiving an invite we told them that it would be limited to immediate family and 1 or 2 close friends.

We downplayed the whole event to those who wouldn’t be attending by saying it would be a quick ceremony and just dinner…and then we never mentioned the wedding or any planning talk to them again.

Good luck. It’s tough telling people that they aren’t invited, especially to a wedding where everyone expects a big party. But, you need to stick to your guns and remember that it’s your day and if you want a small, intimate ceremony then it’s totally your perogative. 🙂

Post # 4
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I guess it depends on how you cut down the list.  If you’re cutting out some family members and not others, I’d say you should probably tell them yourselves and explain your reasoning.  If it’s friends, you can use the “small wedding” justification without too much trouble.

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