Guest List Etiquette – Long Distance Family

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should they be invited?

    Definitely invite them

    Nah, not necessary

    Other (please comment)

  • Post # 2
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    If you can afford to invite them, I’d definitely send an invite. It’s up to them to decide if it’s too far/expensive/etc. Personally I don’t think weddings are tit for tat so I’d ignore who’s weddings you were and weren’t invited to and just invite them if you have the space/budget for it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    13246 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Weddings can be small and intimate or they can be an opportunity to bring family together in a day and age when that isn’t always easy. It’s not inconsiderate to invite out of town relatives to a wedding that is local to you or one of your families. They can decline if they can’t make it or maybe the cousin’s spouse would stay home with the kids. Circumstances can be different and invitations don’t always have to be reciprocal. 

    One thing that could cause hurt feelings is if you invite other cousins. In general it’s better to invite in circles. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3317 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    Depends what you want. Do you want a larger wedding? Then invite everyone. Do you want something smaller and more intimate? Then just invite the ones you’re close with. Sounds like from what you described no one will be hurt whatever you choose.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I echo PP. It depends ENTIRELY on a) your budget and b) what you want. If you are the one paying for the wedding, you get dibs on who is invited, 100%. It would be a BEAUTIFUL gesture to invite them, but if your vision is something small and intimate, and your family isn’t paying for the wedding and asking to invite these people, then please, stay true to yourself and your vision. 

    But, for the record, I would absolutely travel cross-country to go to a family wedding. Old friends, maybe not, but family, always. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5002 posts
    Bee Keeper

    You are approaching this backward.  Whether or not you think they will come is irrelevant as to whether you should invite them.  Whether or not they invited you is irrelevant.

    1.  Do you want them there?

    2.  If yes, do you have the resources to host them (both in venue space and money)?

    If the answer to both is yes, invite.  

    If the answer to either is no, don’t.

    Always assume every one you invite will attend when answering those two questions. 

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    614 posts
    Busy bee

    I took the position of inviting everyone and letting them decide whether or not to come. I was pleasantly surprised how many people made the trip.

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