Post # 1
So I I have quite a bit of family that lives over 1,500 miles away and I’m not really sure if I should invite them or not… It’s highly unlikely that any of them will come. As much as I’d love to see them most of them have kids and would be unable to afford to fly across the United States to attend my wedding (which I absolutely understand). I don’t want to hurt feelings by not inviting but at the same time I’m not sure if they’re expecting an invite or not. We’ve never been very close and most of the time only saw people 1-2 times a year for holidays. Since I’ve moved we’ve only communicated through Facebook (commenting on eachother’s posts every once in a while). I’ve had a few cousins get married since I left. First one didn’t invite us, second one had a very small wedding and didn’t invite us, third is having a HUGE wedding and invited us. I haven’t declined yet but unfortunately I won’t be able to attend since it’s so expensive and I’ll need to save for my own wedding/ house/ finishing college. So, what do you think??
TLDR; family lives on the other side of the U.S., plus we’re not that close, and I was only invited to some of my cousin’s weddings.
Post # 2
If you can afford to invite them, I’d definitely send an invite. It’s up to them to decide if it’s too far/expensive/etc. Personally I don’t think weddings are tit for tat so I’d ignore who’s weddings you were and weren’t invited to and just invite them if you have the space/budget for it.
Post # 3
Weddings can be small and intimate or they can be an opportunity to bring family together in a day and age when that isn’t always easy. It’s not inconsiderate to invite out of town relatives to a wedding that is local to you or one of your families. They can decline if they can’t make it or maybe the cousin’s spouse would stay home with the kids. Circumstances can be different and invitations don’t always have to be reciprocal.
One thing that could cause hurt feelings is if you invite other cousins. In general it’s better to invite in circles.
Post # 4
Depends what you want. Do you want a larger wedding? Then invite everyone. Do you want something smaller and more intimate? Then just invite the ones you’re close with. Sounds like from what you described no one will be hurt whatever you choose.
Post # 5
I echo PP. It depends ENTIRELY on a) your budget and b) what you want. If you are the one paying for the wedding, you get dibs on who is invited, 100%. It would be a BEAUTIFUL gesture to invite them, but if your vision is something small and intimate, and your family isn’t paying for the wedding and asking to invite these people, then please, stay true to yourself and your vision.
But, for the record, I would absolutely travel cross-country to go to a family wedding. Old friends, maybe not, but family, always.
Post # 6
You are approaching this backward. Whether or not you think they will come is irrelevant as to whether you should invite them. Whether or not they invited you is irrelevant.
1. Do you want them there?
2. If yes, do you have the resources to host them (both in venue space and money)?
If the answer to both is yes, invite.
If the answer to either is no, don’t.
Always assume every one you invite will attend when answering those two questions.
Post # 7
I took the position of inviting everyone and letting them decide whether or not to come. I was pleasantly surprised how many people made the trip.