- 4 years ago
Okay, so I’m going to start this post by saying I have already read probably 20 other threads about etiquette when it comes to inviting guests whose weddings you were invited to, and I am still unsure of what I should do given my situation. Sorry in advance for the super long post, but I sincerely appreciate everyone’s honest input!
So my FH and I have a “friend” that is getting married 2 months before us. (I put friend in quotes because this is an individual whom I haven’t heard from or spoken to in about a year). At one point before my FH and I were dating (almost 3 years ago), we were both individually good friends with this person. Unfortunately, she was not completely accepting of us being a couple, and our friendship kind of tapered off over time. There were no arguements and really nothing for her to “disapprove” of, other than the fact we were spending more time with each other instead of her.
It would be one thing if that was the end of our history, but unfortunately it’s not. This person has a habit of meddling, and continued by not just estranging herself from us as a couple, but also interfering with other friendships we had. In essence, she would talk bad about us to our friends (I know… talk about high school-level drama).
Needless to say she got engaged a couple of months before us and is now getting married a couple of months before us as well. She recently asked us for our address so that she could send us an invitation to the wedding, and I must say I was very surprised. Originally, we had decided we were not going to invite her to the wedding, but since being invited to hers, my FH has changed his mind and wants to add her to the guest list.
I am so torn in this situation because she is someone that literally made my life heck when we were in college together, and we have had absolutely no contact with each other for a year now. But at the same time my FH has this idea that by attending her wedding and inviting her to ours we will “keep the peace” and “bury the hatchet”, and I really don’t want to argue with him over this individual. I am trying so hard to suck it up and just invite her, but I can’t help but feel like she is only inviting us so that we will invite her and she can size up our wedding. Am I crazy for thinking this??
Another thing to consider is that we have a lot of mutual friends that will be attending both weddings (hopefully). I am afraid that if we don’t go to her wedding/don’t invite her to ours, she will manipulate some of our friends and convince them to not go to ours. Trust me, she is capable of it.
Lastly, I am pretty confident that we are going to have similar sizes of weddings, so I can’t use the whole “we’re just having a small get together” line (especially considering a bunch of the friends in attendance will be the same at each wedding). I personally could care less if I ever hear from this girl again, but my FH is not okay with the whole holding-a-grudge thing.
Please help!! Any and all advice is appreciated. And please be honest, I can take it. Thanks so much!!