Post # 1
Im having a bridal tea party around a month before my wedding. I have a few friends that i can’t invite to my wedding as we have limited numbers but i would love to invite them my tea party.
What do you think? Is it ok to invite them if they will not be coming to the wedding? or should i keep it to women on the wedding guest list only? They are not close friends but i have been invited to their birthday partys/ baby showers and i would like them to be there.
If i do invite them, should i tell them they will not be invited to the wedding?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t invite anyone to a bridal tea that you’re not inviting to the wedding. I think anyone invited to something like that would assume (understandably) that they are invited to the wedding too- I would. How would you tell them they are not invited? I think that’d be awkward- no?
Post # 4
Yeah thats what i was thinking. Do you think they would understand not being invited? should i say something to them?
Post # 5
Nope! Don’t invite them. You should always only invite people to wedding-related celebrations that will be invited to the wedding! I wouldn’t both even explaining it to them, like you said, you aren’t particularly close. I would rather not being told than having that awkward conversation…
Post # 6
No, don’t do it.
I suppose it’s *possible* that there are people out there who would understand, but the vast, vast majority will be expecting an invitation and will be miffed when it doesn’t arrive, especially because they may have spent money on a gift, and certainly spent their time honoring you. And you will never truly know who understands and who is pretending to understand while they are really offended.
And as far as asking, what do you intend to ask? “Hey, would you be okay with coming to the shower but not to the wedding?” It doesn’t matter how delicately you put it–that’s the question, right? Well THEN you’ve put them in an awkward position because what are they supposed to say? Either THEY come off as petty or mean or they’re forced into an agreement htey don’t want to make.
The essence of etiquette is to avoid putting people in awkward social positions. Don’t do it!
Post # 7
Nope. Unfortunately, you can only invite wedding guests to any wedding related activities. It’s bad form to do otherwise. Engagement parties, showers, bachelorette parties, etc…are all pre-celebrations to your big day, and etiquette dictates you should only invite future wedding guests to these festivities. It’s kind of like…they get you gifts at these parties, and then you share your special day with them and wine and dine them on your wedding day.
Post # 8
Thanks for all your help ladies!