(Closed) Guest list freak out!!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Your venue will determine the cost of vendors.  I have seen a few where the vendors are charged half-price (you pay of course).  The officiant is generally invited if he/she is a personal connection.  If it is someone you found on Craigslist, it’s a lil more flexible.

Good tips: Cut children, cut plus ones, cut people you aren’t related to and have not seen for 1 year.

Tell us how you came to arrive at your guest list (aka who exactly is invited) and we can assist you better.

Post # 4
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

  • We invited the officiant and his wife to the wedding reception and they came.
  • We counted the DJ and photographer for food count (but not drinks obviously).
  • We counted ourselves in the headcount.

We used the “1 year rule” (we totally made it up I think).  If we hadn’t seen the person in a year, we didn’t invite them. 

Post # 5
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

What is your budget for actual attendees? If it’s 175-200, then inviting 215 is just fine; you should expect at least 15 declines. If you need to cut more, here are some ideas if they work for you:

– Cut coworkers you are not friends with outside of the office.

– Set a limit on friends of parents – each set of parents can invite XX people. (This doesn’t work if parents are paying for the wedding.)

– Cut relatives you aren’t close with/don’t stay in touch with. (I did not invite all of my first cousins, for example.)

– Cut friends you haven’t seen/talked to in a while or who don’t know BOTH of you.

As for your other questions:

– Yes, include yourself and your fiancee in your headcount.

– Inviting your officiant/priest is a nice thing to do, but I don’t think it’s mandatory or expected. (We had a friend marry us and she was also a guest, so other bees may weigh in differently on this one.)

– Typically you do need to feed your photographer and DJ, but I would check their contract or ask them what they prefer. (My DJ said he would not eat while he was working.) Also, ask your caterer if they discount vendor meals; mine only charged half price.

Hope that helps. By the way, your caterer should also be able to help with these kinds of questions!


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