Post # 1
So we ended up booking a reception venue that comfortably can accommodate 150 people. My fiance and I started our guest list and were able to stay within the limits. Then I feel like we made the mistake of asking our parents if there was anyone they would like to have invited…
My parents were very nice about it and asked who they should be adding to their “list” which I replied “anyone that is not family that I know and you would want to be there” she came back with 2 of her longtime friends, one of my cousins (I forgot him on my list) and a distant aunt and uncle that I’m not that close with. She ALSO talked me out of inviting 6 people since they are friends of the family that we go on vacation with, but I wasn’t inviting anyone from the other family that comes too. So all in all, my mom’s list = 0 additional guests!
His dad… OMG! The other day I had to say something to my fiance about his dad’s list. It seems to be growing and growing. I hate the idea of inviting people for after dinner, but the two of them are totally okay with it. That’s where his list I think is getting out of control. Some of the people my fiance doesn’t even know who they are. Why should they be at our wedding? His dad says he has no problem paying for them (Duh… he’s paying for the alcohol) but that’s not the point. We had to cut out all children from our wedding, and a lot of friends too just to make the list fit our venue. I don’t think it’s right that his dad should be able to invite people neither of us really know.
Has this happened to any of you? Has your guest list grown because you let your parents give you a list of people they want to invite?
Post # 3
You need to give your FI’s dad a number of people he can invite – say, 50 (1/3 of your capacity). That’s all he gets, and have him make the cuts. Your family gets 50, you and your Fiance get 50 for friends, and his famiyl gets 50. If you don’t give him a stopping point, it sounds like it’s going to keep growing!
It’s your wedding…don’t disinvite your friends so great aunt Sally who no one has ever met can be invited (unless it causes crazy family drama).
Post # 4
IMO I wouldnt have anyone at my wedding I dont know. Our guest list is 70 and thats just who we are inviting. We dont expect all 70 to show, we’re estimating approx 50-60 will show. We are only having our nieces and nephews there… at least thats all we’re planning. We havent quite spoken to the bridal party about this just yet. Our venue is an all inclusive package and we signed for the 50 guests package. Addt guests are only $15 per person but that can also add up and our budget is 5K. I didnt ask my parents or his parents if they wanted to invite anyone. They’re not paying for it. Even if they were it would just have to be fam that actually know and have met us. Ive always planned for an intimate wedding and I intend on it staying that way. For my wallet’s sake at least!
Post # 5
We have a “starter” gues list… haven’t actually sat down to decide who is on the final list, but there are more people than I had originally thought there would be… We have decided to have a “pot luck” wedding (which is pretty common around here where we are) so it will save us a TON of money on food…. but I have been procrastinating and really need to get my butt moving on the guest list since it’s already june and our STD’s came in the mail a few weeks ago…lol
Post # 6
Oh my, this definitely happened to us. As a result of FI’s family’s additions (and some of my dad’s additions as well), we had to move into the bigger hall of our venue. My mom did not add anyone (my parents are divorced), so at least there’s that, lol.
Post # 7
Thankfully, we haven’t had this issue. Our issue was that we are sending a ton of courtesy invites to people that we really aren’t interested in having there, but feel we HAVE to invite. Also, they are technically family (most on his side, so I can’t weigh in) … it’s an awkward situation.
Post # 8
This happened to us. The max on our place was 240….it fit 180 comfortably…and guest list projected yeses was pushing 245. I spent a lot of time worrying about it. At the end of the day, people will decline. For us, it worked out that around 200 people came and it was comfortable in there. Even people that I was sure would say yes didn’t. Some will have pre planned trips, work commitments, or can’t get sitters.
Post # 9
I’m not getting married till 2014. We have to have a minimum of 100 people, so we are planning on inviting 120 people. For the guest list, my fiance and I decided that since my family is paying for the entire wedding, at the end of it all, it’s really my family’s call. Nick and I will write down who we’d like there. Then we are going to allow his family to write down who they’d like, we’re going to allow my family to write down who they’d like and chop the block from there. We’re probably going to be splitting it by 50-60 for my family, 40 for Nicks family, and 20 for our friends. and any people they want over their limit they are going to have to pay. I think that’s about fair.