(Closed) Guest list frustrations! Future In-laws want more spots.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The guestlist is so hard and I feel for you!  We had this exact same problem.  Your Fiance needs to be the one explaining to his parents that while you would love to invite everyone there simply is not room.  If you are the one to deal with it they will just end up resenting you. Be firm about what you both want.  Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it makes sense. At one point I was thinking “wait if they are willing to pay for the extra people, then let them” but then continued and saw that it was a space issue.

you should not have to cut your friends just so they can have more of theirs.I would suggest telling them that if you have any people reply with regrets, then you can fill those spots with their extra 10 (providing they pay for them), but otherwise you are at capacity. (you did, after all ask them way earlier, and they waited)

Post # 5
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nope.  Just tell them it won’t be possible to add guests.  I wouldn’t give any reason other than space limitations.  Anything else (money, allocation between sides, etc.) opens up a negotiation.

ETA: I think mayflowerbride13 is way nicer than I’d be.  If there are declines, I’d give any extra invites to your parents and not your ILs, given the circumstances.

Post # 6
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You aren’t out of line.  I’ve mentioned it here before, but my parents paid for our whole wedding.  They gave me a limit of 180 people to invite – our side ended up getting 10-20 people and DH’s family got the rest.  Then only 60 of them showed up.  I am still upset that 1) they were so selfish about it and 2) hardly any of my family and friends got to celeberate with us.  I’d definitely put your foot down.  I don’t even think it’s about who’s paying, really, I think it’s about inviting the people you really care about.

Post # 7
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Yes – tell them that they need to make a “wish list” (a much better way of describing it than “B-list”) and that any declines you get, you will extend those places to people on the wish list.

Post # 8
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sportsgal31:  My response wasn’t based on being nice (I’m usually not lol) but I think that it seems her Future In-Laws will cause more headache than her own parents… otherwise I’d totally agree with you!

Post # 10
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im sorry but if people decline your parents should get to invite some of their closer friends.  Your in laws already have 10 of their friends going and your parents do not have any.  They should be happy that they get anyone at all 😉

Post # 11
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@kariface:  you’re not a huge wedding bitch 🙂 Goodluck!

Post # 13
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Kariface Goodluck!!!

Post # 15
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@kariface:  Good!!!! I’m glad he is standing up to his parents and making it come across as a united message WITH you, not that you’re pissed and he’s just the messenger.

The topic ‘Guest list frustrations! Future In-laws want more spots.’ is closed to new replies.

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