(Closed) Guest List Guilt – how did you deal?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I feel your pain! We have drawn the line at 53. The venue capacity is 60, but we feel 55 (including ourselves is a more comfortable and realistic number for the space). I feel horrible about some of the people who have not gotten +1s or been left off the list because of the number… but I also know we cant fit them either physically or financially. We are only inviting one aunt/uncle each. No cousins, no extended family. I had one cousin block me on social media recently presumably because she wasnt getting an invite. Which seemed totally over board given that we speak like once every 7 years IF we cross paths at a family party. I’ve been dealing with it mostly by telling anyone who asks about how expensive werddings are and how we are scrimping and saving to manage the small wedding we are having –an exageration there and maybe it’s really rude to mention money like that but it seems to be the only thing that gets through to some people. Anyone who has never paid for a wedding/ had a close family meber get married might  be oblivious to the cost per head… or maybe some people ar ejust oblivious in general.


The thing that really drives me nuts is I don’t understand why people I am not close to WANT to come. Like you want to buy a flight, a hotel room and buy me, someone you barely know, a present and spend your sunday looking at me and wearing uncomfortable shoes? WHY!!!? It’s totally bananas.

Post # 17
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We are having a small wedding too (well, small-ish – 54 guests at the moment. Venue can hold 60 for the daytime and 120 for the evening – doubt we’ll go up to that capacity).

My ‘issue’ is that our guest list seems to be the reverse of other bees – yes, our parents, siblings and grandparents are all invited (that’s 11 people) but after that it’s our friends and family friends who we’ve grown up with. I do have extended family on both sides – aunts, uncles and cousins, and so does he. But we are not close with them at all, so I just don’t think it is right to invite them to our ceremony and reception.

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