(Closed) Guest list has exploded. What to do?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
156 posts
Blushing bee

I would invited everyone since it seems like you truly don’t want to cut anyone out (what a nice bride!).

Maybe you could find ways to cut out things from the budget?? cheaper flowers, or invitations??

good luck ((HUGS))

Post # 5
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

I don’t have any solutions for you, danielle, but I just want to say that I totally, totally sympathize. Throughout the first 6 months of our engagement, the plan was always to have about 120 guests at the wedding–enough to include the closest members of my enormous extended family, and our friends. Just recently, this has ballooned to over 200 people. My parents have decided they want to invite aaaaalllllllll of the extended family, including people I barely know on even a superficial level. I am also struggling with the idea that we have to devote so much money to all these extra guests that I have to scrimp on the things that are fun and special to me, like flowers or jewelry. So sorry you’re going through that as well! You have my sympathy!

Post # 6
156 posts
Blushing bee

sending you ((HUGS)) hope the other bees can help 🙁

Post # 7
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Is there a way, at all, that you could have a 2nd much more casual reception? Maybe after you come back from honeymoon, and invite all your friends to that? That way you get a smaller more family orientated 1st reception and get to invite all your friends to come and celebrate with you later. 

But really, the only other option I can see is taking the big ol’ trimming scissors to your guest list. Which is hard – and trust me, I know. Let us know what you decide to do!


Btw, I asked a bunch of my friends for their addresses – they totally forgot about it a few weeks later. Don’t let that detail bother you, it’s the least of your worries! 

Post # 9
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I have the same dilemma.  Each time we each look at our list instead of cutting we end up adding.  One thing that has helped us is that we will not be having any children.  As for the extended family, great aunts and uncles, we are inviting them only, as in just the couple, not their children/sons/daughters.  It’s still an ongoing headache.  Good luck to us both!

Post # 10
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’d like to keep our numbers much smaller than they are looking too. I’ve trimmed +1s, extended family, kids, family friends, and coworkers from the ‘original’ list. I keep reminding myself that not everyone I invite will be able to come either.

One thing I did that really helped me see clearly who to cut (not that I’m done yet, haha) was to rank all of our guests. I know it sounds terrible, but once I got people ranked into tiers, I was able to narrow down my ‘cutting’ to the lowest tier, if that makes sense, and pick and choose within that to see who would go. That helped a lot, because it felt less overwhelming to nix 1/2 of 50 people instead of 1/6th of 300 people.

Post # 11
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Definitely do the ranking that daydreamwanderer is talking about! IT will help a lot! You can do a “must invite” “like to invite” and “dont mind if not invited” categories or something you choose. Are you inviting coworkers? Maybe leave them out. I know that can be hard for some people but unless you are really good friends with them OUTSIDE of work there is no need to invite them. Again, leaving out children may cut the list. Or you could say that only people with a significant other get a +1…I know that sounds harsh but you have to cut it somehow! Dont just rely on hoping that people wont come because if you do and you dont have the room for them it could definitely backfire on you! Usually about 25% of guests RSVP NO so if you have 200 on your invite list that is 50 people so you could expect approx 150…..

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