(Closed) Guest List Hell PLEASE HELP!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
9565 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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MrsHistory-Bee:  if they don’t invite you guys to everything you definitely don’t need to invite them. There does have to be a line somewhere. Your cousin is in the band- I’m sure theyll understand thats why he’s the exception 

Post # 3
Member
453 posts
Helper bee

I’d just accept the hard feelings (if there even are any).  If you aren’t invited to events in their lives, you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite the, to yours.  They’re your mothers first cousins, not your own; and tbh, I have a pretty close-knit family, and I only vaguely know one of my mother’s cousins and only two of my dad’s (and we’re from a big family), and I’m not inviting any of them.  It’ll be fine and they’ll understand.  🙂

Post # 4
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

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MrsHistory-Bee:  Feelings will always get hurt when you have to cut people out of the guestlist, and in this case I say just cut them out. They don’t seem like a huge part of your life so I don’t see the point in inviting them. 

Having your second-cousin there is totally different because he has a role to play. He is part of the band and just happens to also be your second cousin.

Post # 5
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would not feel obligated to invite them based on the facts you provided- it does not sound like you are incredibly close. If you are super worried about it- you could get a feel for whether or not it would be super hurtful by talking to your second cousin who will be playing a role in your wedding. See what he thinks. That is just a precaution though- it sounds like these people would be easier cuts for you to make than others you might have on your guest list. I agree with OneDayMrsL- feelings will always be hurt when you have to cut people. 

Post # 6
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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MrsHistory-Bee: It’s ultimately your wedding, and you need to make the choice that results in the least amount of stress for you. However, from what you said, it doesn’t sound like you have a very close relationship with these relatives. I don’t think it is offensive or rude not to include them – especially because they aren’t immediate family and because there are other factors that are causing you concern. Don’t forget that you are HIRING this band – you are paying them. Despite your cousin’s involvement, you don’t have to do anything further in his honor. It’s your wedding! 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by chipanddip.
Post # 7
Member
2266 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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MrsHistory-Bee:  If you’re hiring the band, you’re paying them for a service. It isn’t like you’re inviting your second cousin to drink and dine and hang out for the party. He’s providing a service and it’s as simple as that. You do not need to invite his family just because he happens to be in a band that you’ve hired for your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

He’s in a ‘band’ – his parents surely don’t expect to be at every wedding where he plays. You can mention to him at some point how sorry you are that you can’t invite everyone, including his parents. I think showing your regrets goes a long way. That is my game plan for a handful of people I really can’t invite. It sucks but if I were to invite everyone I’d be 30 people over my limit (in terms of budget). 

Post # 11
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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MrsHistory-Bee:  Aha! I could see how that would make things a little more complicated. I still think you are fine to not invite them, and they should likely understand. I would still talk to your cousin though and express your regret that you cannot invite everyone you might want to, including his parents due to budget/venue limitations…etc. I understand wanting to invite everyone you are at least semi-close to, but as others have stated, we have budgets and other constraints to be mindful of- some feelings may be a little hurt, but I also think a lot of people are understanding of this fact. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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MrsHistory-Bee:  your cousin isn’t invited either. he’s a vendor. if they get feelings hurt that’s their fault. 

ETA: i posted before reading updates. it does seem more complicated now…but just stick to your guns.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by MrsHalpert.

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