- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2009
This is my first time ever posting, but I think I’m having my breakdown moment. My fiance and I have been engaged for almost a year. We are getting married 7/12/09. My parents offered to pay for the entire reception, which is so wonderful of them. Given the current economic constraints (my dad works for Groomsmen, my mom is an unemployed teacher), we all (my mom, dad, fiance and I) decided on a smallish wedding, buffet style, at a local hotel. We decided on this in January. Up until that moment, my future in-laws did not express any sort of interest in helping to plan the wedding.
One day in March while we were visiting my Father-In-Law, my fiance’s aunt offered to pay for the cake and flowers. My future Mother-In-Law grudgingly agreed to help after being prompted by her own sister. This was very nice of them, but does this allow them to dominate the guest list?
We made it clear that this wedding could only consist of 85 people – which means we’re limiting it to immediate family and friends. Because my fiance’s family is so much larger than my own, I would say at this point the guest list is 70% his family. His mother seemed to understand.
We sent the invitations out in May. Immediately the phone calls started coming in as to why we had not invited so-and-so’s cousin, or aunt, or best friend. We have been getting rsvp cards back that state "5 will be attending" when the envelope clearly stated one person’s name. I found out that people who were not invited to the wedding have booked rooms at the hotel where the wedding will take place. We received RSVP cards back from people we did not even invite! His mother and other family members decided to write several people who were already invited on one rsvp card and then give the extras to people they wanted invited to the wedding.
My fiance has had repeated conversations with his family about how this wedding is only 85 people, and only for the people who are invited! They are not listening! They do not seem to care! Now at the last minute, his mother is saying she wants to pay for extra people to come (not that she offered to pay for the reception at any other time). I’m worried that this wedding will balloon out of control with people we did not invite and that my parents will be stuck with the bill.
We’ve tried talking with his relatives and they seem to understand at that moment, but then they turn around and invite people who are not on the guest list. What can we do to keep this under control!?