(Closed) Guest list help!!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You have to invite those who are social units as a unit. That includes married couples, engaged couples, and those who are living together. I would invite both or neither.

Post # 4
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2013

They are a package now unfortunantly its both or neither. Think how you would feel if your fiance got invited to a wedding but you did not.

Post # 5
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You don’t HAVE to invite her. Like, the wedding invitation police aren’t going to show up and arrest you if you don’t. But if you’re looking for validation that you are behaving correctly by making him choose between you and his fiance, you’re probably not going to find it here. 

Clearly what you want is for this friend to come without his fiance, but you can’t mandate this. People do have other priorities and considerations in their lives than accomodating “Your Day” — and one of those is consideration for the feelings of people important to them. And fiance trumps friend. So you have to choose: invite him by himself and have this friend not come because you snubbed his fiance, or invite them both and put up with someone you don’t care for coming to your wedding. What’s more important to you; that he’s there, or that she isn’t? 

There’s no magic etiquette plan to make people do what you want. Though maybe if you’d approached it as, “I’m so sorry, but with our budget/venue size, we’ve had to makes some hard choices with our guest list and couldn’t invite your fiance, I hope you’ll understand and be able to attend anyway” instead of “I don’t like your girlfriend so she’s not invited,” and using your wedding as a tool to express disapproval of his own relationship, maybe your friend would’ve been more amenable to attending without her. But horse, meet barn door.

Post # 6
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t invite him since you don’t want her there. It would be very rude of you to invite him alone- he is engage so she must come with him, regardless if you like it or not.

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