(Closed) Guest List Help!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I would tell your dad it is going to be a small wedding so he should pick 4-5 people that he really wants to be there, then move on. I would be more concerned about the unevenness of the families versus an “it’s your wedding” response. 

If you have a problem asserting yourself and putting your foot down, then I would get your fiancée and your mother ready for the massive guests coming from your father.

Post # 4
Bee
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

I would first talk to your mom and find out how she feels about it. I have a lot of aunts and uncles as well, and I only invited the ones that I actually have a personal relationship with. I didn’t invite probably four aunts and uncles because I wanted people at the wedding that I knew and loved, not people there because I felt obligated to invite them. Just some things to think about!

Post # 5
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Have you considered a destination wedding with only those important to you?

 

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mmwm:  Are you not close to his family at all? If not, you might want to consider moving your wedding because if it is at your dad’s home, he will be making demands. I like a PP’s advice to have the wedding somewhere else, maybe a bed and breakfast?

If your mom is willing to be around all his family, then I would ask your dad to help pay for them all to come.

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mmwm:  What exactly has happened at other family weddings?

Post # 10
Member
7739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t have it at your dad’s house! The minute you do that, you are giving him control. I also think it is insensitive to your mother, expecting her to go to the house of your dad and his new wife.

I would invite all the aunts and uncles but none of the cousins. Yes your dad’s family will still dominate the numbers probably, but not as much as if you invited the cousins.

Post # 12
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mmwm:  You realize you can pull off a small destination wedding for much cheaper than a regular wedding?

 

 

Destination Wedding doesn’t have to necessarily mean flying off to a tropical island. It could just be someplace far enough to where it isn’t easy for everyone to attend. 

Post # 14
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mmwm:  Ahh, gotcha.  Well good luck.  I agree with another bee about only inviting the aunts and uncles and immediate family. 

 

For my small wedding I had to limit it to immediate family only to avoid family drama.  Ended up inviting my godmother(my aunt) as well but so far there has been no fallout from that..yet.

Post # 15
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

There are inexpensive venues that could be GREAT alternatives to your Dad’s home.  Try state parks, community centers, and depending on how small it is you can have it at a restaurant.  That way you have control over the guest list!  That is the easiest way to avoid all the headaches this will cause later.

 

Post # 16
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe you could have a very intimate ceremony with just the intended number of guests, and then he could host a larger celebration for you later that evening or even on a different date?

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