(Closed) Guest List Help!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

What we did was draw a line and stay consistent, for instance, we’re inviting NO great aunts/uncles and NO 2nd cousins.  This way, no one could be offended because it was an across-the-board decision.

Good luck!

Post # 4
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

it sounds like you may have to make a choice – family or friends. if you’re not close to your cousins, how about no cousins, just aunts and uncles. make it clear on the invites that it’s not “and family”. be firm when receiving rsvps.

Post # 5
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Can you create a blanket rule? For example: aunts, uncles and cousins over a certain age/cousins you’ve seen in the last 10 years?

Post # 7
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I hear you on this one.  My Italian/Polish family and his Italian/Italian family is HUGE.  We had to draw some major lines, and it’s not going to be comfortable.  However, keep focused on what you want in the end.  We nixed boyfriends/girlfriends of anyone who wasn’t married.  There were even some cousins who are not being invited – when we were honest with ourselves, we weren’t very close to them.  Also, we’re nixing all kids.  We love kids.  Don’t get me wrong.  I absolutely adore them, but it’s not necessarily a great setting for younger kids to be.  We cut it off at 16, and our guest list was easier. 


Good luck on making your decisions.  It’s a tough road, but you can both do it.  As long as you’re both making decisions together, you’ll feel better about every decision. 

Post # 8
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Do you have any way to estimate beforehand whether these cousins, etc, will travel? I know you wouldn’t want to risk doubling your size based on unexpected acceptances, but you may be able to get an idea of who will come if you talk with his mom, for instance. I invited all my cousins, but due to the distance and a few of them having small children, many did not come. You’re right, if they have kids and your wedding is in October (school’s in session!) they may not come. I think we invited 65 people, including children, and only 32 came. And … of those 32, 3 weren’t even invited!

Post # 9
2 posts

I am in (almost exactly) the same boat.  We live in Pittsburgh, and are getting married in Duck at our vacation home.  We invited 86 people, and were only realistically counting on 30 coming.  While we haven’t sent out the official invites yet, word of mouth has us believing that only 4 people will NOT be making the trip.  Thankfully, our beach house is large enough to hold that large number of people, but I suggest not inviting more people than your venue can hold.

Now how am I going to afford to feed 80 people lobster?…….   🙂

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