Post # 1
Getting married in Feb 2011 in Hawaii.
Sent out Save-The-Date Cards in June.
Sent to some people I have since lost touch with… Basically, I moved to a new city on June 1.
One of these people lives in the city I moved from (Ive known her for 5 years.) Havent heard a peep from her in months. She was in my new city last weekend. Didnt bother to tell me she was here – I had to find out on FB. When I asked her she said it was a quick trip filled with drama, blah, blah and she’d be back again soon.
The other lives in the city I moved to. (I have known her for 12 years.) I fully expected her to be a friend while I was living here. We were roomates in college and she came to visit in my old city for New Years, etc. After being here for 3 months and only seeing her 2 times, Im guessing she isnt to keen on being friends.
Both of these people got Save-The-Date Cards… do I HAVE to invite them to the wedding? Thoughts??
Post # 3
I think you should invite them, because you sent them Save-The-Date Cards and you may want to salvage the friendships in the future. Realistically, people who can’t make time for you now aren’t going to spend the money to go to HI anyway, so they’ll most likely RSVP no and you’ll get to be polite but won’t have to have them at your wedding.
If you don’t invite them, you’re basically shutting the door on the friendship, and not giving them any chance to pursue you in the future.
Post # 4
I would invite them. If your friendships have truly grown apart as you said, then they probably won’t fly to HI anyway… if the do choose to go, perhaps it will signal a renewal in the friendship.
Plus, not giving them and invite after sending the Save-The-Date Cards would, from my POV, really kill the friendships for good.
Post # 5
I agree with the other posters, unless you’ve really had a falling out with these people, you should invite them.
Post # 6
YES, you need to invite them! In the last three months, I have been busy with about a zillion things! I have been in and out of towns of people that I loved and haven’t had a chance to get together with them every time. Summer can be a crazy time, so I wouldn’t be offended that you haven’t heard or seen them in this amount of time. I stopped in a town that a college friend lives in to stay overnight at a hotel, see a show at a theater, and go on my way …to the shore. I didn’t have time to get together with her, because it was the kind of thing that was a whirlwind trip! She wasn’t offended, and I wouldn’t have been either! You have to remember that friends are friends even if they don’t stop by or call everyday!
Post # 7
You all make some great points… I guess it doesnt hurt me to invite them, and Im not crushing whatever there is of our friendships.
@Missbliss: I understand what you are saying but I wouldnt be asking this if it was as simple as not hearing or seeing my friends every few days… it has been over 3 months. Some other small things have happened that have really hurt me. But, like I said, I will invite them and see where it goes from there.
Thanks for your thoughts, Bees!