Post # 1
Finally thought we were getting somewhere with our guest list, this was until my future father in law returned home from one in Yuma.
I made a little comment that I would have more guests at the wedding than my Fiance and his Dad gave me a dirty looked & asked me why I would say that. It’s true though. Most of his family lives in England, so most of them won’t to spend thousands on coming out to the wedding here. Thats why we are doing a second recepion in England as our honeymoon. His Dad knows this too, because he’s been invited (insert face of total discust here)
Now his Dad wants to invite his friends, keep in mind my Fiance has never met or seen some in years. This woul be to “even out the grooms side”
I was horrified! I dont want this to be an issue between us later, so Im willing to be the bigger person. I gave my Fiance the guest list and told him ” I dont care who comes you and your Dad can figure it out”
Post # 3
Oh my gosh, that is seriously so frustrating. I would be so annoyed! The point of the guest list is not to be “even” – it’s to include the people important to you that you want to be a part of your day. I cannot imagine adding people just to make it even…this blows my mind. I’m angry for you….grrrr. Is there any way that your Fiance can talk to his dad reasonably about this?
Post # 4
I just wanted to first off say, thanks for listening! I can’t talk to my family about this cause they would make me even more upset over this and I don’t want issues with the in laws.
My Fiance is going to talk to his Dad today about it. I had said right from the start I’m ok if it’s just my immediate family and Grand mother because it’s a lot less stress. He said he wouldnt feel like we had a wedding that way.
Nobody ever tells you that weddings really arent about the bride and groom. It’s turned into a game of who can we piss off the least and still live with ourselves. I’ve gotten to the point where I refer to the wedding as “The tumor”
Don’t get me wrong I want to marry this man more than anything in the world I just dont want to plan a wedding with him. We have however started “The sanity fund” we call it that because we didnt want to com right out and call it “The drinking fund!”
Thanks again, hope all is going well for you 🙂
Post # 5
Well then I guess you better get in to England early so you can make some friends in the pubs that you can invite and even out the bride’s side!
Kidding, but seriously… have your Fiance speak to him and explain that even if he does want things “even” (which is a little ridiculous) he needs to take both events in to account.
Post # 6
Thanks for your advise just to make it clear though, it’s my future father in law that felt things should be even not my Fiance. My Fiance has been great. Actually I didn’t give him enough credit in the first place because he talked to his Dad and basically told him ” This is our wedding and WE will decide who’s invited!” I was very pleased that he stood by that. Weddings make people crazy…I’ve been astonished at some of the things people have said to me during this process. Really selfish things!
Thank you for caring, and although I dont think this is the end of my troubles atleast I know my guy ”has a pair” and will stand up for us!!
Thanks again!! 🙂