(Closed) Guest list/ invite Questions…Help!!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

As for your agent.. just let her know "we are having a family only or very small wedding". We have used that line and it works great. Everyone understands.  If you dont  see them and have a relationship outside of work, i dont think you need to worry about inviting them.  Even more so, since you do not work in the same office.  

As far as the photographer, I have no idea.  I would base it on your relationship with him.  Sorry, not much help there.   

Post # 4
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t think, besides distant family members, there is anyone that you have an ‘obligation’ to invite. You should invite those that you feel comfortable with and want at your wedding.

As for your agent and photographer, it’s really your call. Depending on your venue, you might have to provide meals for your vendors anyways, if so, then it wouldn’t be a big deal for your to just extend a formal invitation as opposed to giving him the same meal as a ‘vendor.’ I think the question to ask here is – Is he coming as my friend or as my vendor? That should hopefully help you to decide whether or not to invite his wife. Unless the assistant is a friend, my comments for vendors above probably apply. 

Another way to cut down on a guest list is of course to discourage those who aren’t in a serious relationship to not bring random dates. Some may disagree with me, but it’s them you want at the wedding, not the random date. 

My last comment – maybe wait a little bit to see how many RSVPs you get for the wedding. If enough people end up saying no, then you can invite the photographer or agent guilt-free because you’ll have space for them. We have an A list and a B list for that purpose and are sending our invites out 3 months in advance. 

I hope that was helpful. 

Post # 5
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think inviting the photographer if at all possible is a nice touch, even though you are probably paying him it is a nice way to thank him for taking care to photograph your ceremony.  And well if you invite him then his wife I think is a must.  I don’t think I know of a situation where someone can be denied an option to bring their spouse without it being considered rude. It kinda sucks cause it makes a guest list get big real quick.

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