(Closed) Guest List Issues

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

How close do you live to your FIL’s? I would go and have coffee with them and just ask them in person for their list and explain in person. Sometimes no matter how nicely you word things in an email people can still take it the wrong way. And that way you can explain to them why it’s so important to get the lists soon.

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, I think we have the same FIL’s!! I asked for months for both of their lists (they’re divorced and remarried) and got no response. There was a small whisper of “Well, we’ve already told you who we’re inviting so you have our list” But of course that didnt’ do me any good b/c I had no one’s MAILING address!

Finally what we did was we mailed STD’s to both of his parents. Immediately, they emailed us their full guest lists with mailing addresses. It was kind of a bold move, but I needed to do something to get them to respond! I gave them the excuse that my brother was mad that we hadn’t mailed the STD’s yet and needed to plan for our wedding (which was true!) so we sent them to whoever we had and address for.

Post # 6
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Aw, well there goes coffee! πŸ˜‰ Yes, in that case email is excellent. And I feel for you on the getting married elsewhere thing – FH’s family (who all live near us) are complaining that we’re having our reception in a different borough than them! There’s always one….

Post # 7
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

You could let them know that if you don’t have the addresses, you will not be sending Save-The-Date Cards to these people.  But, they may still be included on the invite list.  By doing that, you can show that you mean business and you’re technically not cutting anyone out–they just won’t have advance notice.

Post # 8
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Oh girl, I feel you.  I waited and waited and waited on my Future Mother-In-Law to send us her “few” addresses.  And then, about 2 weeks late, she finally sent them to me and added 35 people to my list.  SERIOUSLY?!  You are NOT being unreasonable, but as has been said time and time and time again, our weddings are not nearly as important to everyone else as they are to us.  Heck, I can’t even get my fiance to get me 3 addresses that I need, and I know where he sleeps πŸ˜‰ –he just doesn’t seem to get how important they are!  So.  Many gentle reminders, and many deep breaths, and it’ll be ok.  I’m sorry you’re frustrated!  ((HUGS))

Post # 9
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Why are you dealing with this and not FI? He has a stepmom and a mom each with their own guest lists, and he is the one bothering them for addresses. I have a good relationship with them both, but I think it’s always a better idea for each of you to deal with your own parents.

Post # 10
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally understand.  Except for me, it wasn’t my FIL’s, it was my Fiance.  It took him THREE MONTHS to get all his addresses to me.  I went ahead and sent out STD’s to my side, and those addresses on his side that I had (family, some friends).   When he eventually got around to getting the rest to me, those went out.  It meant that his STD’s went out over a month past mine, but oh well.  Not my problem.  πŸ™‚ 

 

Post # 12
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I totally was in the same boat! I asked and asked and would always get “oh sure I’ll email it to you”… no email. Finally the DAY before we were about to send out invites I called my Mother-In-Law and she tells me she doesn’t even have the addresses! UM you couldn’t tell me that earlier?? SO I called my FIs grandma she whipped out her address book and filled in all my blanks in 10mins.  All my Mother-In-Law had to do was call her mother and have that same 10min convo. Oh well, the invites got out πŸ™‚

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