Post # 1
My mom is so irritating. She keeps asking me to give her a list of the people that my fiance and I want to invite to the wedding. I’m like… “no, you can give me your list.” This is MY wedding and I want to plan it – not her. We can do parts of it together. But, I feel like we should be able to control the guest list. My mom and dad are paying for the reception… BUT, we are paying for everything else – music, photography, videography, ceremony site, my dress, invitations, etc. It’s so hard to have a civil conversation with her about it because she’s like “I’m paying for it.” Well, not completely. It’s not like we want to cut out family, her work friends, my dad’s work friends, fiance’s parents friends… not at all! But, I want to organize the guest list. Not her.
What to do?
Post # 4
@linguo42: Easier said then done, my dear.
Post # 5
@amw511s: Unfortunately when your family is paying for part of your wedding you really do need to take their opinions into account. I would suggest working out a set number of guests that you and your Fiance and each set of parents can invite and letting each party sort out their own list.
Post # 6
It seems like the things you are paying for aren’t affected by the number of guests. If they were, I could see why you’d want to keep tight control on the guest list but if you think about it, handling the guest list is a huge pain anyway. Why is it that you feel so strongly about organizing it?
Edit- Of course if your mom might cut “your” guest list to accommodate “her” list, I get why that’s an issue too.
Post # 7
I would just say, “Mom, it makes a lot more sense for Fiance and I to put the guest list together since we’re blending both families plus our friends on it. I’m getting a list from everyone, and once I’ve had a chance to go through and put them together I’d love to go over it with you.” Then be firm.