(Closed) Guest List Number Conundrum

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yeah…my mom is one of 6 and my granny is one of 10.  And the wedding will be in my home town.  My Fiance has no cousins, isnt very close to most of his family, and all of his invites will be traveling from across the country.

So that the wedding doesnt basically turn into my family reunion, I have limited my list the absolute musts.  He, on the other hand, is inviting whomever he wants to (e.g. people he hasnt spoken to in person – not facebook- in years!!) and I am not complaining.  I figure (i.e. hope), that most of these random invites wont show up and Im off the hook if it turns out that the overwhelming majority of the guests are my family.

Good luck planning!

Post # 4
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I had a situation similar to yours.  Honestly, I didn’t worry too much.  That’s just the nature of things.  When we do family stuff on my side, there are often a lot of people.  When we do family stuff on his side..not so much. And I think having more family on the bride’s side than the groom’s at the wedding, is pretty common, for many reasons. 

Unless you really WANT to trim down your list, (ie money, venue capacity etc.)  I would try not to worry about it.  You don’t want to feel awful about not inviting people you wanted to have there, just because the room isn’t balanced.

Post # 5
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

Because Mr.D (and all his guests) are from England he’ll be a bit underrepresented in terms of guest count.  Even if all the people he invited would come my family is still larger than his.  It will still be a celebration of the two of you because it’s your wedding 🙂 I wouldn’t worry too much, what can really be done about it?  Good luck!

Post # 6
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I had the same problem.  My husbands friends and family took up only 4 of the 17 tables at our wedding!  I also felt kind of bad about it, but I can’t help that I have a large family.

Just invite the people important to both of you and don’t worry about the numbers.

Just make sure to include his people in important ways- like doing readings at your ceremony, sitting at places of honor during the reception, etc.

Post # 7
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I had a bit of the opposite problem. My fiancee’s mom comes from a huge family, plus his father’s side and he’s close to his step-mothers family. My family is much smaller. Our wedding is probably 75% his guests, 25% mine (and that’s a conservative estimate). I don’t think you have anything to worry about, as someone said that’s just the way things go sometimes.

But, I would agree that you might have to tread carefully when it comes to guest list issues in the future. For example, if he decides a month from now to include a group of 5 college buddies, it might upset him to hear you say "there’s no room for them" (we have had at least one small argument over just this type of thing!) One decision I regret in my own planning is not being more careful about the guest list. Just make sure that he feels his friends/family are being included and you should be fine!

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