(Closed) Guest List Numbers?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
2505 posts
Sugar bee

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jerseygirl28:  i think the real question is, who are these 85 people? are they family? or are they Fiance parent’s friends (i.e. not friends of your FI’s, but only of his parents?) if it’s family, then it seems reaonable to invite them. if it’s your FI’s parent’s friends, then nope. if your FI’s parents aren’t paying for the wedding, then it’s not their shindig, and you don’t have to invite any of their friends (who aren’t your friends). now, it might be worthwhile to invite a couple of their friends, just to make their experience at the wedding more fun. but 85 (non family people) is ludicrous if you’re not paying.

all that said, you shouldn’t have asked your FI’s family for a list of people who they want to invite to begin with. they’re not the ones hosting the wedding, so they shouldn’t be creating guests lists. it is appropriate for you to ask your FI’s parents for a list of all the aunts, uncles, and cousins, for example. but you shouldn’t be asking them for a list of who they want to invite (since they’re not throwing this thing).

you and your Fiance need to sit down and create your own list of the people you must have at the wedding (family and friends that you are close to and want to invite). then, since your parents are paying for what sounds like half of the wedding, you should ask your parents for a list of the people that they would like to invite to the wedding. finally, you can then go to your FI’s parents and say, “we are putting together our guest list. we’ve invited all of the family (if that’s true), and would like to know if there are any close friends of yours that you would enjoy having at the wedding. we have room in our budget to invite 3 additional couples (for example.” this last bit is optional, but curteous as this wedding is still a big even in your FI’s parent’s lives, even if it’s not their wedding, per se, and so might enjoy the opportunity to share it with some close friends of theirs

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  ilovesophia.

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