(Closed) Guest list problems…

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Do they know about 10 – 20% will RSVP no?

We invited about 160 and ended up with 120. Of course that was in the winter, 1 month after Christmas when no one wants to travel. 

I would tell your grandma that if she wants to cut down, those 10 people she added would be the first to go. Maybe even compromise that you can lose the work crowd if she cuts out the random people? That would cut you down to around 80. 


Post # 5
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@KaitKitten:  I totally understand, that would be awkward. 

Still, maybe she’s thinking of her 10 friends as indespensible while she could easily cut your coworkers. She’ll probably say no to cutting her friends and this compromise could force her to put her money where her mouth is so to speak. 

Post # 6
8670 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How many people can you afford to invite? Because you may get 100% attendance. Each wedding is different and you can not and should not rely on the numbers that another bride iwth different guests in a different place had RSVP.

Invite the number of people you can afford to feed.

Post # 7
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Are you and your fiance paying for the wedding, if so, I don’t really see why the number of guests is such an issue to your mother and grandmother.  If they are paying, then you may have to compromise- or you could pay for the difference if you want everyone there.

Or, could you find a cheaper venue/caterer- are there other parts of the budget you could cut?

Post # 8
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It depends on who is paying.  Also, there are other ways to cut catering costs besides cutting the list… we hosted a lunch reception instead of dinner and it was much less expensive.  I believe a brunch reception is less expensive as well, and there’s always the option to have the wedding & reception at a non-meal time and host appetizers instead.

Post # 9
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My sister did a brunch reception and everyone was free to go at 3pm – if you are doing this 4th of July weekend (holiday weekends are usually no-nos) then your guests will still be able to enjoy the holiday by going to fire-works shows or whatever else they do traditionally.

Post # 10
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree that you can’t cut people whom you’ve already told are invited. At this point I’d just try to keep the per person food costs down. 

Post # 13
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m not seeing the issue, to be honest. ETA: I’m assuming that you are paying the majority of costs for the wedding.

If grandma insists on cutting people, say the people you don’t know are the first to go from the guest list.

Post # 14
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honestly as you are paying for the majority of the wedding, this should be a non-issue.  On a holiday weekend I would also imagine you will probably get a lower response rate and you are right it would definitely be rude to uninvite people you have verbally invited.  I would just act like this discussion never happened and go on with your intended guest list.  If they bring it up again just nod and smile and say that you’ll take their concerns into consideration. 

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