Post # 1
We finalized our guest list months ago – and now I’m wanting to crunch it even further.
There are some people on the list that I added – that I’d love to attend, but when I really thought about it – I realized I don’t really have a super close relationship with them and am really inviting them based on our history (past friendship).
For a handful of them, there is a family history (meaning – their parents will be invited). The ‘kids’ are around my age, but we’ve lost contact through the years.
Those are the ones I’m most concerned about – because I know it will be obvious to a lot of people that they aren’t there. But, ironically, out of all of the people I’m thinking of cutting, they are also the ones that are easiest (since there is no current relationship).
Unfortunately, my family is being no help in helping me out with this set of guests.
To the married bee’s – did you have any guest list cutting (or keeping) regret?
Post # 3
I think we were in the same position. There were a lot of family friends growing up. More people that my parents were friends with who had kids of similar ages and therefore we hung out as kids. It was a group of about 5 core families and then a few additional families that over the years came and went.
If I were to invite the full families (most of whom have children that are in college or even married) then it would add almost 30 people to my guest list. It was hard but we decided to invite the parents only.
It kinda stinks because many of the family friends were kids that I grew up with. We did lots of bbqs, summer camps, etc. But, I don’t speak to them regularly at all anymore.
Its not a decision I regret, I think all of the families completely understood.
Post # 4
No regrets. We left out lots of people… We did not invite any children with the exception of our 3 nephews and a neice. We also did not invite any adult children of parent’s friends. Very easy decision.
Post # 5
@caszos: thanks for sharing your experience. That’s exactly the scenario – we all went to these kids weddings – but that was several years ago, etc. In a perfect world, I would include them and it would be nice to see them, but the reality is – our wedding isn’t going to be a reunion free-for-all. There’s one family of adult kids I am including, because I keep in touch with them, etc. I think that will be viewed poorly by the other parents, but I’m hoping they’ll understand.
@FutureMrsBLT: It’s not exactly the adult kids of my parents friends, so it makes it a little trickier. The parents of these kids are attending, not because they are friends of my parents, but because they play a significant role in my life. Thanks for sharing and glad to hear there were no regrets for you!
Post # 6
We have a similar group of family friends. There is a whole group of families that my family hung out with all the time while I was growing up. In most cases, my parents are still friends with the parents, but my sister and I are no longer close at all with the (adult) kids. In those cases, I just invited the parents to the wedding. There was one case where I am still close with the “kids” in the family, so we invited them, but for the rest, they didn’t make the guest list…
Post # 7
@skibobrown: did the parents of the kids who weren’t invited share their disappointment, etc??
Post # 8
No. I have pretty much fallen out of touch with the “kids”, so I don’t think their parents were expecting invites for their kids. The ones who I still see multiple times per year were invited, but the rest did not receive invites. I haven’t heard of anyone being disappointed. I wouldn’t expect to be invited to their weddings either though, so I guess the feeling is mutual.
Post # 9
I had one family friend who was invited and we didnt invite her sons. she has one son who still lives at home (They used to live across the street, so I know him well) she called to ask if he was invitd and was super nice about it, I said I didnt think he would want to go since he is like 19 and wouldn’t really know anuyone but that he was welcome to come (we had just had a “no”) he came and had a blast! He kept the dance floor going, danced with some of my cousins it was great! I was really glad he came even though we were never like close or kept in touch, so If you do wind up inviting these people – keep in mind they might be the life of the party!
(That being said for our friends we didnt invite anyone who we would have had to contact through facebook, if I havent called or emailed them recently enough to have their number- we werent close enough!)
Post # 10
@skibobrown: I guess ‘disappointed’ is the wrong word. There is just an expectation that they would be invited (because of the history of the families). They are more like cousins than friends. But, again – we don’t have a current history. I just have a strong feeling that by not inviting them, they’ll (and their parents) will feel slighted.