(Closed) GUEST LIST QUESTION: Do I have to invite ALL of my cousin’s bfs and gfs??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who would you invite??
    All of them. Each cousin has been with their bf/gf for at least a year, so they should be invited : (21 votes)
    50 %
    Only SOs who live together. : (14 votes)
    33 %
    None. Save the money! : (5 votes)
    12 %
    Other?? : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee

    no. your cousins will know enough people there that it will not be awkward without a date. if they werent going to know many people, then yes. let them have dates, but that isn’t the case in this situation. 

    Post # 4
    3364 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    No. I told my cousins that it was a family-only event! =)

    Post # 5
    313 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I draw the line at living together given the size of your wedding. When my cousin got married two years ago, my Fiance and I were living together. She didn’t give plus 1s unless you were married and this was a huge event, like yours. I felt horrible getting dressed and having to leave him behind. 

    Post # 7
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We are having 50 guests and I have ten cousins on my Mom’s side and my solution was that we’d only invite their bf/gf if they had been together for more than a year and/or had a child together. I have one cousin who’d bring his “flavor of the week” (his words, not mine) so this seemed like the sound option. I think only three of them qualified.

    Post # 8
    368 posts
    Helper bee

    I honestly hated when we would get invites without a plus one. I would at least invite the ones who live together. I mean reverse the situation, how would you feel?


    Post # 9
    4144 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Given the size of your wedding I’d say all long term partners.  I don’t think I would be understanding if I didn’t get a plus one for a 400+ sized wedding.  50, fine.  100, I could deal with it.  400, that’s a bit off.  But I know one of the reasons I feel this way because SO and I don’t live together, because we can’t not because we don’t want to. I can honestly say I wouldn’t go without him.  It’s awkward.  Especially when people start asking “where’s so-and-so today?”, which they will with long term partners.

    Post # 10
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I have a lot of extended cousins in their teens and 20’s. I invited plus 1’s for those that were in LTR/living together. I have a few younger cousins, like college age, who have bf’s/gf’s that I have never met, so I didn’t invite them. 

    Post # 11
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Who are your other guests?  I think I’d invite my cousins’ +1s (especially if I’ve met them) on the basis that they’re future family and closer to me than say a coworker I’ve only known for a few months.  400 is a lot of people to not have room for an extra 7 possible future family members… although it seems like you have a huge family!  I’d try to make room for them somehow.  I realize costs add up, but in numbers 400 isn’t very dfiferent from 407.

    Ultimately it’s up to you who you want to invite, though.  🙂

    Post # 12
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    For our event, we’re saying together for a year or longer. But we only plan on inviting 200, and of that we know for sure that around 50 won’t travel to attend. Given the size of your event, I would say family only!

    Post # 14
    2440 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I think etiquette is that anyone in a long term relationship should be allowed to bring their significant other.  I would consider that pretty much anyone who’s been dating for at least a year. And with that many people invited, those that aren’t allowed to bring their bf/gf may think they’re not that important to you because you couldn’t squeeze in one more person to your 400+ person wedding.

    Post # 15
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would say no, not unless they were engaged or had been living together for awhile. I’m the second oldest of all my cousins, and the first to get married. I’m not invited all of my cousins bf/gf’s but my mum thinks I should. I decided to invite my oldest cousin’s girlfriend even tho I haven’t met her because they’ve been together longer than Fiance & I and he is also the only cousin that’s shown any interest in the wedding

    Post # 16
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    At the 400 person mark, I think that you might upset them if you didn’t invite their long-term partners.  I realize it’s still an extra $1000, but if you can’t make a cut such as out of college (in addition to 1 yr/living together), then I think paying the money for them is better than upseting them.  Maybe they will gift generously, one can always hope.

    The topic ‘GUEST LIST QUESTION: Do I have to invite ALL of my cousin’s bfs and gfs??’ is closed to new replies.

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