- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Hi Bees, I am (finally…) working on finalizing a guest list and am faced with a dilemma. In Jr High I was part of a group of 6 other girls. We were all pretty close, but as time went by, I drifted away from all but 3 of them. Of the remaining 3, I just have very little in common with 2. One of the remaining girls I was roommates with in college and she actively bashed me behind my back to another group of girls she was trying to become friends with, so I have been avoiding her. I found out about it after we no longer lived together and were no longer as close, so I never confronted her, but I just really don’t want somebody like that at my wedding. I also worked with her fiance and did not care for him at all either (and they’re engaged and living together, so etiquette would demand I invite him as well).
This group of girls is unique (at least in my experience) in that they all continued the “super BFF” attitude way afte we were all out of school. They still get together when everyone happens to be in town (and I do attend those functions), and it is unthinkable to do something with more than one other person and not try to invite EVERYONE who could potentially attend. It was very difficult to forge one-on-one relationship within the group, and I think I am the only person who instigated more personal relationships with anyone else. For instance, the 3 I am still close to are closer to me than to anyone else in the group precisely because I went out of my way to foster a closer relationship. I cannot imagine any of the other girls NOT inviting the entire group to their weddings, but I will be the first to get married. In a perfect world, I’d be able to invite the 5 that I have no qualms with and leave out the 1 girl who was mean to me (it really was awful), but I feel like it would be easier to keep drama to a minimum if I explain we are keeping the guest list small and I couldn’t invite people I had grown apart from.
Would it be incredibly awkward if I invited 3 of the girls and not the other 3? The 3 I am still close to are relatively close to the other girls. Part of me feels like it is worth having the other 3 girls there so that my friends won’t feel uncomfortable, but then part of me says that it’s my wedding, I should be able to cherry pick who I want there. I know the uninvited girls would find out that the others had been invited. I also don’t really feel like I’d *care* if the girls chose to attend; it’s not like I would be obligated to spend tons of time with them. It’s more a matter of principle; I don’t know that I think it’s nice to invite people I don’t care to spend time socially with, although I do have room on the guest list.
Thoughts? I know it’s nice to say it’s my wedding and I only have to invite people I care about, but socially sometimes that can be challenging.