Guest list rant

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
710 posts
Busy bee

I hear you! I have a REALLY big family (grandma had 9 kids, kids had kids) and i’m close with some cousins, not with others, close with some second cousins, not with others. But the ‘other’ cousins will get offended if they don’t get invited and my ‘favourite’ cousins do. I also have alot of work friends, some I plan to invite cause we are close, others we hang out occasionally but not often. They may or may not be offended.

At some point you just need to draw that line and stick with it. People will get over it if they aren’t invited

Post # 3
Member
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

And if they don’t get over it, what the worst case scenario? You offend someone you aren’t close to? 

Post # 4
Member
9540 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You are letting it snowball too much. Just because you invite one friend doesn’t mean you need to invite every friend from that group. I invited a couple of friends from my grad program. I didn’t invite others that I’m not as close to. Everyone was an adult, realizes weddings are expensive and not everyone can be invited, and no one had hurt feelings.

Post # 5
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I had a problem with this as well! Minimizing the guest list is SO hard! I started to question myself- “have they ever met my fiance?” if the answer was “no” I would most of the time take them off. 

Post # 6
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

happybridetobe1988 :  I just wanted to say you are not alone.  We are having a sit down dinner in our home and can accommodate a maximum of 60 people and I would be happier if it was closer to 50.  My (adult) daughter told me this weekend – I ‘have to ‘ invite her best friends… Ummm – NO.  It is an emotional struggle that is for sure!

Post # 7
Member
3595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

happybridetobe1988 :  well, while i can’t predict who will actually come to your wedding, i can tell you we stressed over ours a lot. We planned (financially) for about 125, could easily afford 150, invited 190 and bit our nails for declines….only to wind up with 88 – when we had a venue minimum of 100. Go figure. I can say it turned out to be the best crowd, our venue only charged us for 90, and i now can’t imagkne having more people to have to socialize amongst. 

Post # 9
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

How about doing it in groups? For relatives, it is pretty straightforward, as you either invite all your cousins or you don’t. (Don’t consider stuff like who you are closer to.)

For friends, you could asssign them all some kind of number based on how many interactions you have had with them in the past year? And then you would have a more straightforward way to sort people?

Post # 10
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

happybridetobe1988 :  LOL. It happens to everybody – I think no matter how large their guest list is. Wine will definitely help. <3

Post # 11
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee

Also, some guests might consider it a blessing that they are not invited. I have about 10 weddings to attend and I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in two. This means $200 wedding gifts (x10) + $100 shower gifts (x10) + $1,000 bachelorette party expenses + $800 dresses = almost $4,000 I’m spending on attending weddings this year. Just as much as brides don’t want to hurt feelings by not inviting people, guests also don’t want to hurt feelings by RSVPing no. Maybe that’s where I went wrong. I need to say no more! 

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