Post # 1
The guest list is stressing me out so much today. I’ve been staring at my guest list for the last 5 hours, taking people off, putting them back, taking them off, putting them back.
I wish someone could take this paper from me and just work magic and say ‘here is your guest list. Done’
What is my problem? I don’t have a huge budget but know quite a lot of people. Bacially I’ve moved around a lot and made friends in each place I’ve moved to and kept in touch with each friend….I made a small list and my Fiance said ‘are you really not going to invite X? She comes to visit us abroad once a year and you’ve travelled to India with her?’
He has a point, so I included her…which means I should include others in that friendship group too, which means I should include some other friends from another group who I see too. Before you know it my list has doubled.
I just needed to have a vent. Now I will put this list to bed and get a glass of wine.
Post # 2
I hear you! I have a REALLY big family (grandma had 9 kids, kids had kids) and i’m close with some cousins, not with others, close with some second cousins, not with others. But the ‘other’ cousins will get offended if they don’t get invited and my ‘favourite’ cousins do. I also have alot of work friends, some I plan to invite cause we are close, others we hang out occasionally but not often. They may or may not be offended.
At some point you just need to draw that line and stick with it. People will get over it if they aren’t invited
Post # 3
And if they don’t get over it, what the worst case scenario? You offend someone you aren’t close to?
Post # 4
You are letting it snowball too much. Just because you invite one friend doesn’t mean you need to invite every friend from that group. I invited a couple of friends from my grad program. I didn’t invite others that I’m not as close to. Everyone was an adult, realizes weddings are expensive and not everyone can be invited, and no one had hurt feelings.
Post # 5
I had a problem with this as well! Minimizing the guest list is SO hard! I started to question myself- “have they ever met my fiance?” if the answer was “no” I would most of the time take them off.
Post # 6
happybridetobe1988 : I just wanted to say you are not alone. We are having a sit down dinner in our home and can accommodate a maximum of 60 people and I would be happier if it was closer to 50. My (adult) daughter told me this weekend – I ‘have to ‘ invite her best friends… Ummm – NO. It is an emotional struggle that is for sure!
Post # 7
happybridetobe1988 : well, while i can’t predict who will actually come to your wedding, i can tell you we stressed over ours a lot. We planned (financially) for about 125, could easily afford 150, invited 190 and bit our nails for declines….only to wind up with 88 – when we had a venue minimum of 100. Go figure. I can say it turned out to be the best crowd, our venue only charged us for 90, and i now can’t imagkne having more people to have to socialize amongst.
Post # 8
I’ve come to the decision that the half of my guest list who have come off, then gone back on, then come off, then come back on…..I’ve decided they are staying off. Some of them are quite good friends but I will explain it’s a small wedding and we will celebrate another time.
At the moment I’m inviting my rather large family and then 13 close friends (well…more like 6 close friends and then their partners). These are the people I can’t imagine not being there on the day.
However, ask me tomorrow and I’ll probably tell you that another 20 people have ended up on my list….hahaha!!
Post # 9
How about doing it in groups? For relatives, it is pretty straightforward, as you either invite all your cousins or you don’t. (Don’t consider stuff like who you are closer to.)
For friends, you could asssign them all some kind of number based on how many interactions you have had with them in the past year? And then you would have a more straightforward way to sort people?
Post # 10
happybridetobe1988 : LOL. It happens to everybody – I think no matter how large their guest list is. Wine will definitely help. <3
Post # 11
Also, some guests might consider it a blessing that they are not invited. I have about 10 weddings to attend and I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in two. This means $200 wedding gifts (x10) + $100 shower gifts (x10) + $1,000 bachelorette party expenses + $800 dresses = almost $4,000 I’m spending on attending weddings this year. Just as much as brides don’t want to hurt feelings by not inviting people, guests also don’t want to hurt feelings by RSVPing no. Maybe that’s where I went wrong. I need to say no more!