Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College
My cousin decided that marrying a convicted sex offender would be a GREAT idea. I’m far less than impressed, but I feel like I should invite her to the wedding – we were once very close until her choices of men sent me running – however, I also have friends who will be bringing their kids.
I actually think he’s not allowed to be around kids that aren’t his own – he was a statutory rape offender originally, and just spent the last 4-5 years in the clink for probation violation.
I hate to go against etiquette or whatever, but I would think sex offender trumps etiquette? Could I use my friend’s kids as a legit reason not to invite him?
Post # 2
Wow..that’s..a situation for sure. I honestly have no idea what i would do in this situation. Was his offense with a really young child?
Post # 3
Seriously, F ettiquette in this situation. I disinvited a close friend’s spouse over this very reason. She was super upset with me and we eventually got back together as friends (when she divorced him.)
Post # 4
yeah……for SURE don’t invite him.
I don’t know if you should invite her and not him and explain gently but firmly to her that because of his conviction and because of children on the guest list, he can’t be included, OR if you should refrain from inviting either of them and if she happens to ask you can let her know that you didn’t feel right inviting her without her spouse, but that her spouse’s conviction prohibited you from inviting him.
Either way, he doesn’t get to be there.
Post # 5
Just invite her and leave his name off the invitation. F him.
Post # 6
No need to worry about etiquette here. Either just invite the cousin or neither and you’re good. Absolutely no sex offenders. I would be so angry at my friend if they invited a sex offender and my children and didn’t warn me. I would not attend of I knew a sex offender was going TBH. (Disclaimer I don’t have kids yet but I’m pretty sure it would bother me.)
That said was he 18 and the girl 17? That’s different of that’s the case, but it doesn’t sound like it. You can actually look him up on the database and it will tell you the category of offence. But honestly I personally wouldn’t invite either person.
Post # 7
Safety trumps etiquette. Sorry, due to the presence of children we are unable to invite your husband.
Post # 9
I teeter on the edge of etiquette in enough instances that would be frowned upon here so take this with a grain of salt, but: NO. Last thing you need to worry about on your wedding day is whether or not uncle creeper is assaulting any of the kids.
Post # 10
I just wouldn’t invite either of them.
Post # 11
He might not be able to anyway. Parole boards are very strict about this kind of thing.
Post # 12
I would invite her only and make it very clear he is not welcome.
Post # 13
THIS! I dont understand how this situation is even a question.
Post # 14
Oh, and to add, I wouldnt even risk inviting just her and leaving him off the list. We would have to have a conversation that he is not allowed just in case she thinks it is a mistake and decides to bring him anyway.
Post # 15
Legally he can’t be there anyway so he knows if he was invited he cannot attend. Just invite the cousin and if she asks or assumes he is invited just say “Knowing he just spent time for violating his parole I thought it best that he not violate the terms of his freedom so he doesn’t have to leave you again.” That is assuming you can openly discuss it