Guest list – Sex Offender and Kids

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

If he was a child predator then hell no!  But in this case you said that it was statutory… doesn’t that mean that he was 18 or over and she was under 18 and it was consentual but considered “rape” because of the age?  If so then that’s a little different, depending on the age of course.

Post # 17
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

If I was a guest with children and found out a sex affender was attending, I would be very upset!!!

Not sure why this is even up for discussion!!!!!

Post # 19
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Noooooooooooooooooooooope.

I’ve learned from the Bee that really the only universally okay reason to not invite someone is if the person in question is a child mollester. No invitation necessary. 

Post # 20
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

I’m with everyone saying to invite her and not him. Just tell her children are invited and he isn’t allowed to be around them. Simple as that. She married a convicted sex offended so she should know there are repercussions for her choice. 

Post # 21
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

nelliemade :  I would absolutely not invite her/him to the wedding. It is your wedding my dear, and a sex offender would make me super uncomfortable esp around other children in attendance. That is one thing that would be impossible to overlook. 

Post # 22
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

I agree with the other PPs, safety for the kids trumps everything. Invite her but let her know because of his convictions he isn’t invited due to there being children at your wedding. That’s a big no no.

Post # 23
Member
5120 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I wouldn’t necessarily be afraid that children would be in danger by inviting him (if his only charge is was because of statutory rape with an underage girlfriend when he was 18). That said, I would be conscious of other guests comfort around a sex offender and his inability to be around children legally. For those reasons, I don’t think that you need to invite him. 

Post # 24
Member
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

nelliemade :  WAIT SHE MARRIED A GUY WHO FELT UP HER CHILD????????? Am I reading that wrong???

Post # 25
Member
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I just want to add that statatory rape could mean he was 18 and his girlfriend was 16.  It happens, unfortunately. 

Post # 27
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee

OK so, I wouldn’t invite him. Just throwing that out there. 

BUT… from the details you shared, I’m not sure his legal situation is as cut and dry as it sounds. If he was 18 and the girl was 15 and the sex was consentual, then that’s a different story in my opinion. And if his parole violation was simply being around his 12 year old step daughter (your cousin, his wife’s, daughter, right?) then that sucks and he shouldn’t have been around her, but it doesn’t sound like he committed any crimes against her or any other child.

Again – definitely wouldn’t invite him. Better safe than sorry. I just might mentally cut the guy a little slack.  

Post # 28
Member
343 posts
Helper bee

This is something I am dealing with personally because my FI’s 2nd best friend is a registered “sex offender.”  This is one area where, imo, judiicial reform is needed. Taking a pee against a wall, forwarding a sext, sleeping with a 16 year old as an 18 year old man, and her parents get mad – these are all ways people can end up as registered sex offendors, with their lives basically ruined. These are all gross and irresponsible things to do, don’t get me wrong … but it’s the child molestors, rapists and pedophiles  I want branded and banished from society … not someone who got drunk and whipped their penis out for a quick wizz. 

I don’t care about my FI’s best freind’s past – I let my friends with kids know  he would be there and they didn’t care either once they heard the story. It’s ridiculous that he has to register for life for a stupid thing he did when he was 19. If you are not comfortable having this dude in your wedding – don’t invite him or his wife. Tell them you were trying to keep it small. Inviting the wife and not him will just cause drama. So if it’s important to you that he not be there – just skip the invite for both of them.

Post # 29
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

SHE MARRIED A GUY THAT FELT HER DAUGHT UP??!!!

 

Post # 30
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee

IDGAF about the details. If someone is a registered sex offender and it not allowed around children, then they would not be allowed at my wedding with children. And, if I were a parent and the bride allowed this, I would be pissed off if I found out as a guest. For me, the details would not be important…that’s between him and the court system.

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