(Closed) Guest list – Sex Offender and Kids

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 76
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

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soymilk :  “I also wouldn’t want the risk of my child meeting a sex offender”. What exactly is that risk? Can you quantify that? In general, and at a wedding.

Post # 77
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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jasmeen :  If I am in an encounter with others at a wedding and meet that person that is a sex offender involving a minor with no knowledge, one typically would have a conversation that includes sharing details of what area in town you live, what schools our kids go to, other personal details, and of course our names. My children too could interact and give them details to use. 

Now, if the person truly wants to target that child, it would be simple to track down the school and to have their name to lure them or to say hey remember me from the wedding…I remember you said you like dogs, I have a dog with me. 

When OP has the knowledge that the person is a sex offender involving minors and may not be allowed to be around minors unless his own children, it’s not appropriate to take risks on the parents behalf without their knowledge.

As someone whom was almost abducted twice as a child and sexually pursued as a minor by an adult on a third occasion, I would not risk it and I would not appreciate someone knowingly making that decision for me either. 

Post # 78
Member
9275 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I guess I don’t understand why anyone is debating this. The facts are this given the info relayed by the OP- he is a registered sex offender that can’t be around children. Since there will be children present at the wedding he legally cannot be present without violating his parole. As I am sure his recent experiences with the justice system has taught him sex offenders are given tougher sentences for parole violations especially when it involves breaking the condition of being around children. So therefore I am sure he won’t want to attend for fear of ending up back in prison for even longer (because prison is a such swell experience for child sex offenders).

The ins and outs of his case are not relevant because he legally can’t attend.

Also yes in some places those on parole cannot own “dangerous” breeds. That is the law where I am.

Post # 79
Member
9275 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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BalletParker :  I think OP’s post was confusing but from how I read it he didn’t get 4 years for owning a pittbull, he got 4 years for violating his parole by being in contact with a child (cousin’s daughter) and owning a pitbull. So two parole violations which could explain the 4 years. I know where I am parole violations carry a mandatory sentencing (so say 2 years), so every violation gets you 2 years. I just had a clients husband get 6 years for breaching his parole on 4 counts.

Post # 80
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

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catapple :  when I was 15 my boyfriend was 17. He turned 18 while we dated. Do you really think two teenagers will stop having sex just because one of them turned 18 and it’s illegal? It’s literally a sophomore and a senior in high school. Lots of seniors and sophomores date and have sex. I 100% consented to it and my boyfriend shouldn’t have been labeled as a sex offender the rest of his life because of it. 

I think to consider someone a danger to others at a wedding because he hooked up with a 15 year old when he was 18 is pushing it. You can also end up on the sex offenders list for peeing in public if you are a guy. It’s gross, but doesn’t make you a danger to the little kids hanging out at your wedding. 

Post # 81
Member
11360 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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Soon2bmrs1 :  right. Confusing.

I read it as the cousin’s daughter’s bio dad, I assumed was her first husband hence why I said she married a guy who sexually abused-or previous partner if they didn’t marry but had the child together — her daughter and a 12 year old girl.

Now she is also dating a guy who has a sex conviction. 

 

 

‘The daughter’s father, also happens to be in prison for rape of a minor. Turns out her father was abusing her all along as well and managed to get a 12 year old girl pregnant.’

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/guest-list-sex-offender-and-kids/#ixzz4dZ5m9uur

I’m tripling down on the read the actual court docs rec! 

Post # 82
Member
11360 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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j_jaye :  could be. Interesting point re the way it’s done in aus.  I was reading up on parole violations here and they seem to have a process of many steps before going back to prison (dep on violation I’m sure), but this isn’t an area I know much about.

I was thinking that if the cousin’s story were true re it was consensual between teenagers, the parole board wouldn’t be so concerned about him being around a young child. So to me, it’s just more evidence suggesting the story isn’t quite fitting. More reason to read the actual court records.

But it might be possible. I’m also putting into the mix how tough it is to get convictions for sexual offenses here, but I should note it’s easier against vulnerable minorities. 

Post # 83
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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italianbride0508 :  And how do you know this girl was in the position for consent? How do you know if she wasn’t groomed or the circumstances? How do you know they even went to school together? How do you know OP has the ages right? Even if the OP’s cousin says her story of what happened, how do you know she is either telling the truth or has the truth? OP admits to not being sure of the ages nor all of the details. She also doesn’t have any information from a trustworthy source which can’t be the spouse of the convicted sex offender.

Unless OP goes and gets all the facts from the case (legal statements, recordings, and official convictions), you don’t know if his original offense was truly as you assume or if he truly pursued and coerced/forced a minor into sexual acts. You don’t know if the minor involved would contradict that she was raped.

Post # 84
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldn’t even invite her. She knows of his sick crime I’m sure. Who marries a sex offender? Gross and deeply fucked up. 

Post # 87
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee

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BalletParker :  Ahhh I see what you’re saying. She married the bio dad, who abused the daughter, and now is ALSO with this guy. I misread your original post. I get it now. *facepalm* 🙂

Post # 88
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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nelliemade :  WITHOUT CONSENT? so he raped her…

 

sorry but wtf is the debate here.. my 2 cents? Don’t invite your cousin either.. she is married to a guy who raped someone while she has a daughter… I actually have no words.

Post # 89
Member
11360 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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Soon2bmrs1 :  girl… I’m facepalming with you so hard, because yeah.  This cousin has some issues, based on the op’s posts about her choices and the excuses she’s offered. 

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