Post # 91
anatheanalyst : Yes, statutory rape is still technically rape…. But from a moral perspective, I certainly think there’s a difference between a 15-year-old who is legally considered too young to consent, versus someone who actually didn’t want to have sex. We still don’t know any of the details here.
Post # 92
She wouldn’t be getting a plus one and that would be that.
Post # 93
soymilk : Totally don’t have any idea to any of these details. No one does, without reading the court transcript. But just because one person was 15 and one was 18 doesn’t automatically it was a bad situation. That was my point— just being 15 and 18 on it’s own doesn’t warrant enough (in my opinion) to consider him dangerous to have around other small kids at the wedding. It doesn’t mean automatically that he would be hitting on 15 year olds at the wedding.
Two possible scenarios:
1- he’s a true predator, and would innapropriatly pursue underage girls at the OP’s wedding
2- he’s not a child predator. He hooked up with his 15 year old girlfriend after prom when he was 18. Her parents found out, were mad, and pursued the situation with the police.
With JUST the information we have been presented with, no one can truly judge. Reading the court records would be the only way to truly judge the situation.
Post # 94
I think regardless about how you hash what he did, it sounds like you personally don’t want him at your wedding. And that’s okay. So decision’s made, he’s not coming to the wedding. Do you think your cousin would be deeply hurt by you not inviting him, or do you think she’d bring him anyway? If it’s the latter then you might be better to invite neither of them.
We are in a situation where two aunts live together, one we would invite to the wedding but the other we would not and you can’t invite one and not the other and we’re afraid the aunt who would be invited would bring the other anyway so we unfortunately are not inviting either one of them.
If you want no chance of him being there at all you may have to just not invite either one of them too. Good luck!
Post # 95
- Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College
futuremrs-s : I was talking with my mom the other day about different cousins, and how I was thinking about inviting them, and how X has a husband, do I give plus 1’s to the other two who are single, and my mom was all, “It doesn’t matter, just write it to the family and they will bring who they bring.” So that’s the mindset of her family. I want it to be very clear: My “aunt and husband, and Cousin” (if she ends up on the list), not “The Aunt’s Family”.
Post # 96
nelliemade : Our families are the same way and will likely bring whoever despite what it says on the invite so we chose not to invite those two at all. Maybe be very specific and word the invite with exactly who it says, maybe say we’re saving 3 seats for you at dinner or something and then talk to your cousin in person if possible about how you don’t think it would be a good idea for him to be there given that there will be children and with his parole.
I feel your pain on this issue though. I have a cousin who is likely going to show up with my aunt even though she lives alone with children of her own and did not get an invite. I just have a feeling she’s going to show up anyway with my aunt and uncle. Building in 3 extra seats just in case. 🙄
Post # 97
You need to tell your cousin that in light of her husband’s criminal history he will not be invited to a weding where children will be in attendance. She can do whatever she likes with that information.
Post # 98
nelliemade : Yikes. That means rape. I’m pretty sure it would have said statutory rape if it was just the age thing. I second the idea of looking it up to read the docs. Something doesn’t add up plus you’ll want to know if your cousin is enabling an abuser. You’ll want to steer clear of both of them and maybe even call CPS.
Post # 99
sweatergal007 : Agreed. Look it up, you’ll be able to confirm via the registry.
Post # 100
I wouldn’t attend that wedding at all.
Post # 101
This seems very straight forward to me. He is not allowed to be around minors who are not his own so you have legitimate reason to leave him off of the invite. If your cousin questions why he is not invited you can kindly remind her of this, the facts, that he is not allowed to be there in the presence of minors. Sorry, not sorry. There are consequences for your actions. This is not your problem.