Post # 1
So, I have a very small immediate family and an absolutely huge extended family. I already lost the battle of keeping it at JUST my immediate family (with parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, that would have been a very manageable 15 people), with the agreement that I would invite all great aunts and uncles and then only the extended family I was particularly close to.
However, the masses have caught wind of the wedding and recently, my crazy nut of a great uncle (who I am being forced to invite) decided to make some guest list requests on my mother’s Facebook wall. It’s not happening.
My mom thinks that, since she doesn’t go on Facebook much, she should just pretend like she didn’t see it and ignore it with the idea that he’ll figure it out when invites go out.
I think I should nip this thing in the bud and inform him that while we are happy people want to celebrate with us, there is limited number of people we can invite and that we unfortunately cannot accomodate his requests.
So…what would you Bees do? Play dumb, or be proactive?
Post # 3
Be proactive. I would have your mother message your great uncle and say, “I’m sorry, but the guest list is limited, etc. etc. Nip this in the bud now!
Post # 4
I went through the SAME thing but it was my mom adding the people. Finally I said LOOK I already sent out the invites to the people I wanted to send them to and it’s done. I don’t have room or money for the extra people.
Post # 5
Yes, you need to smash that idea ASAP. If not, they will be very likely to just show up.
Post # 6
I think in this situation you need to be proactive–ignoring this issue will only make it worse when Save-The-Date Cards or invitations go out. If I were your mom, I would probably delete the post and send the uncle a private message/email/phone call explaining the situation. Your explanation sounds very reasonable, you could also probably include something about the budget; that’s usually a very justifiable argument for cutting the guest list.
Post # 7
I’d post on the FB page (just in case others can see) that you wish you could invite everyone but are keeping this a very small event – but that you cant wait to see everyone at the next (enter family activity here)!!!!
Post # 8
@KristenGotMarried: I’m trying to get my mom to delete the comment, mainly because I don’t want my wedding being discussed as public fodder via Facebook. It’s a private thing to me, and I kind of want to keep it that way… I would rather call my weird uncle and tell him myself, but my mom strongly disagrees.
@AnnieAAA: I wouldn’t put it past this branch of the family tree to just show up anyway, even if I did tell them no… But I want to say that I at least tried!
My mom just hates being the bad guy, whereas I don’t care too much if people don’t like what I say. (When you’re a teacher, you get used to that in a hurry.) And if he doesn’t like my response…well, his invitation can get lost in the mail, for all I care. Or he can boycott. Either way, I don’t give a toot.
I’m also definitely planning on using response cards where people will fill in “___ of _# attending”, so there will be absolutely NO confusion there.