(Closed) Guest list: suddenly more than expected

posted 9 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

we cut down like crazy and i just said no to people we aren’t friends or mamily with. his parents and mine get 0 invites. if they want to invite people they can throw their own wedding. I was torn because of my location being perfect and i decided i don’t really want to spend my special day at a place that isn’t special just so people i don’t know that well can be there too.

Post # 4
13 posts

We are cutting down like crazy too.   For friends, on their invites, if they’re single, we are only inviting them.   No "plus guest" for any of our single friends.   Then we seat them at our friends table and hopefully they will all know each other.

Post # 5
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This is rough. Sounds like you need to start an "A" and a "B" list, or find a different venue.

They say for destination weddings, you can expect 20% to decline, and about 8% for at-home weddings. That said, you still have a lot to cut down. Make a list of 100 MUSTS and exclude +1s. Singles can mingle, especially if they know other people there. 

 Good luck! 

Post # 6
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m definitely not part of the "most people" that don’t meet their quota!  I think most people now adays are trying to pare their guest lists down more than normal.

I think we will be way over as well.  Our venue said the room can hold up to 200, but it would be VERY cramped if that happened and our ideal list is climbing from 160 to 180–but it seems like there is nothing I can do!

Good communication and guest list "rules" helps this situation some.  In the end everyone should have to make a cut (not just the two of you!)

hope you get it all figured out! 

Post # 7
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

In the end you send out the invites, not your Future Mother-In-Law.  I think it’s unfair of her to insist on so many.  And yet I’m in the same boat!  We’re inviting 63 and hoping for only 25…  That may sound funny, but so many are Out of Town and in this economy…my family just can’t pay to fly out to my wedding.  Still, I’m crossing my fingers for some "Nope" RSVPs!

Post # 8
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I agree with excluding +1’s….I’m doing that for mine…unless people are engaged or married…they do NOT get a +1…I think it’ fair enough…we have a max of 180 and I’m really terrified of us going over cuz we kind of invited more than we should have…but luckily we’ve had a couple of ‘we will be out of town during that time’ replies…Good luck!!

Post # 9
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We’ve got this problem, too. Our venue holds 220, max. And I really mean that, as in, there are 220 chairs available. It would be better to be under the 200 mark. But due to family issues (parents and step-parents who refuse to pair down their guest list any farther, huge extended families who expect to be invited, etc.), we invited about 300! (The guest list just kept growing and growing, well after we had booked the venue.) We knew in advance that quite a few of FH’s family would not be coming, as they live across the country and had already informed us that they couldn’t make it, but with the RSVPs coming in as they currently are, it is looking like we are going to be very, very tight. At this point, I am just hoping for good weather, because then we could put up as many more tables & chairs as we needed outside on the huge patio… which would solve our problem. But that won’t be any help if it rains!

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