(Closed) Guest list trouble

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well, it depends.  If FI’s mom is helping pay for the venue and she NEEDS these guests to be invited, she can offer to cover the expense of adding the extra guests.  It seems like most venues have an additional guest charge.  If not, then you have to pull weight as the bride and explain that it is impossible to accomodate her list and that she’ll have to trim it.  Finally, you could just invite them all hand hope for the best.  That might not be a terrible idea since most brides on here seem to have at least 10 guests decline to attend.  Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think your second option (inviting them and hope they dont come) can really back fire on you. My Fiance and I sent invites to people who told us “no we can’t come, but we’d love an invite for memories” …FOR MEMORIES MY ASS! They RSVP’d that they are coming *facepalm* So if you invite 139 people be prepared to have 139 people at the venue.

Post # 5
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with the sentiment that you should not invite people expecting them not to come.  Can you set an early RSVP deadline and get your Mother-In-Law to delegate some people to the “B list” (i.e. they will get an invite others decline?)

And I feel your pain.  My Mother-In-Law sent me a guest list of 90 people (this after I told her that we were only having 100 people at the wedding).  Sheesh.  AND she sent it to me when Fiance was out of touch in China doing field work.  After several months, both Fiance and I had to sit down with her and say “you get 30 people – either you pick the 30, or we will, but the bottom line is you get 30 people”  After several agonizing hours at the table, we were able to shorten her list. (BTW – my mom also got 30 people, and we got 40 people to round out the list.  Oh, and we are paying.)

Post # 6
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmm…I don’t think 139 is too far over your target limit…and the rule of thumb is that about 20% of people won’t attend, but this isn’t an exact science. I wouldn’t worry about it so much…I think you are close enough…but I would just see if there are any accomodations that can be made if a few extra show up.

Post # 7
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Never invite more people than you can accomodate. 

We have an A List and a B List. Once we get enough ‘no’s from A List people, we’ll send invites to the B Listers. I know some people don’t agree with this method but it suits our situation.

Post # 8
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

@Mrs.DBee:  I agree

I would hate to have your wedding shut down due to fire code, invite the most important 125 people. count up how many don’t RSVP and then invite the rest of the “not devistated if they don’t show up but would be nice to have them there” people….

If FIs family is not helping pay.. but you can simpley tell her you are over the ammount of chairs in the venue and you need help witteling it down to 125

Post # 9
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d say have her make a B list. Then those people can get invites once you receive enough No RSVPs. 

Post # 10
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Guests lists are stresfull, but the situation could be so much worse.  Pick 14 people from the 139 to be “B listers” and invite them later.  We invited about 180 and ended up with 145.  Obviously it depends on how local your guests are, but you should be fine.  So you don’t have to “delete” people… just put them on the back burner. 

Post # 11
Member
389 posts
Helper bee

Definitely do your “A” Must Have list and your “B” fill in list for those “A” list folks who do not show.  You could cut your list by cutting children out and singles – invite them but not their dates.  Just explain to them that you would want them there but can’t afford to pay for a guest.  Good luck!  Lise

Post # 13
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I second the A list and B list.

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