(Closed) Guest List Troubles

posted 11 years ago in Family
Post # 17
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your Mom’s guest list is crazy- does she not see how strange it is that her guest list alone is more than that of the Bride, Groom, and Groom’s parents combined?!?!? Tell her she needs to trim her guest list to include “necessary people” only (i.e., family members that you actually have a relationship with) and if she doesn’t amend the list, do it for her. I think it’s quite a burden for her to expect you to invite her friends’ kids- especially when you have to pay for all of them.

I was stressed out about how to handle my guest list without causing drama, too. My sister (who’s been married for 6 yrs) gave me some good advice- if you won’t even see the person within the next year in order for them to be pissed off at you for not inviting them, then don’t invite them. I.e., if it is a person you haven’t seen in the past year, and probably won’t see in the year after you’re married, don’t invite them.

It kinda helped me put things in perspective.


Post # 18
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

monkey girl that’s great advice!! we’re having the same problem with my side of the family. there are quite a few of people i don’t want invited. there are also some friends of my fiances moms that i don’t want to come but how do i say “no” to my parents and his if they’re contributing to the wedding ($ wise)? Geeze I do not like this part of the wedding process lol

Post # 19
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

You are definitely ok to scale down your mom’s list, since you are footing 100% of the bill. I could understand if she was splitting the financial burden with you – but that’s not the case.

Scale the list down to the individuals you are ok inviting, then bring that to her and let her know you’ve had to cut it down to meet your financial limits.

It’s a little disheartening to hear that your mom did not discuss this large number of guests with you, prior to giving you the list. That’s a lot of financial pressure for you to take on.

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