(Closed) Guest list woes!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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christabel:  I’m sorry, but I don’t find this all that lopsided.  There have been weddings on here where it was 80-10 guest count  for one side or the other. You didn’t tell us who added the extra 2 guests (two! yes two) whether it was your Fiance or his parents. By all means talk with him tonight.

It’s really not fair to penalize him or his family for the fact that you don’t have close direct family. Are you sure that this didn’t push an emotional button for you because it reminded you that your Mom won’t be there?

Post # 3
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Magnolia House

It will all be ok. And with my OCD I like 85 better than 83, lol. if they added 10 or more I can see being upset but it’s only 2 and really 85 isn’t that big. i would just make sure that’s it. No more. Besides I heard to figure only 80% coming so it probably won’t even be that many people. 

Post # 5
Member
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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christabel:  ps everything will be ok

Post # 6
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My fiance and I came up with a guest list. With my guest list I orginally had about 25 people and my fiance had about 70 people. His Mom claimed I had to many guest. She crossed a bunch of guest off of the list that my fiance and I both wanted. A couple of people she crossed off because she was not invited to their kids wedding.. some pathetic excuse like that.  I did not feel like aruging. I let it slide. She continued to add more people.. Our guest list of 95 people went up to 130 in no time. We had to draw the line and cross all these extra people off. 

I think two extra people is not a big deal. Your wedding is a ways away. Not everyone will come. There will be alot more issues to deal with leading up to the wedding so pick your battles.. If this really means that much of a deal to you then deal with it. But I guarantee much more serious issues will come up!

 

Post # 7
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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christabel:  I had issues with My IL’s (who own a local store) inviting random people who walked into their shop. 

This was for the engagement party (which we paid for with help from my parents). In the end our Number got to 142 for a space to fit 90 – 100. We were lucky that we had a number of people pull out as we sent the invites a bit late, as well as some didnt turn up. 

 

For the wedding though, my Fiance and I sat down and cut the list to 86 expecting a couple to pull out and if they don’t we still have the room and its within our budget. It may not hurt to have couple extra on the list incase some can’t make it. Although, once the list is done… it’s done. 

Post # 9
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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christabel:  If he’s anything like my husband, just be aware the Fiance might stall on the STDS until the very last moment!

Post # 10
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Oh yes, things with the guest list will be fine, in the end! It is a year away, and you will probably adjust the guest list a few more times until then.

Post # 11
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

The guest list now is 36% is yours, 16% mutual and 47% fi and his family (assuming the extra two you dont know) .. its pretty close . Don’t worry so much about the guest list right now. the guest list will change.. Some people may not be attend to attend or you forgot people You both should set a maximum amount and don’t go over that … so atleast you both have an agreement

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