Post # 1
This morning my fiance and I sat down to hammer out our third of the guest list. Our parents are busy compiling their their thirds of the list, and we needed to nail down who of our friends we are inviting.
I thought it was going to be a fairly simple process.
I was wrong.
When we finished, we had 25 people on our mutual friends list, I had 5 people from my hometown, and my fiance had 40.
While I want him to feel supported and loved on our wedding day by his close friends, I completely balked at this number. Especially since mine is so low. I don’t have good friends from home. All of my close friends are from college, and as a consequence, are in the “mutual friends” list because they all know and have known my fiance as long as I have.
I hate to come across as jealous or petty, but I do want to look out at our ceremony and mingle at our reception with people I actually know. And of course, I’m not asking him to slash this list down dramatically, but some of these “life changing friendships” are with people that I’ve never heard of before after 2+ years of dating. Fiance was pretty put out when I told him we might have to cut some people — we won’t know how many until we get a look at our parents’ lists — but I’m kinda bummed that our guest list is so heavily weighted with people I have absolutely no history with.
Am I being ridiculous or is it reasonable to ask him to cut this list back some?
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s completely ridiculous. I’m in the same boat as you in that I don’t have many friends from my hometown coming (read 1-2), but Fiance has a bunch of his friends coming, some I have known for awhile and others barely met, but in the end after our parents contributed their lists, mine ended up bigger than his because my parent’s have more people to invite than he does. So it might even out like mine did, but it might not, so it’s completely up to you to decide what you want to do I guess is what I’m saying. I’d just keep cool until all the lists come back to you so that you can make a rational decision at that point.
Post # 4
Actually I am in the same situation with my Fiance. We are having our wedding in the town we met where we went to school, which also happens to be his hometown. Which means that many, many of his high school friends and church friends went to college with him and he’s been in contact with them a lot more than I have with my old hometown friends. I’ve kept in contact with the ones that are important to me of course, but the acquaintances from my old hometown didn’t all make the list. He also has a HUGE family, (50ish) expected to come, whereas the total number of my family will equal 10.
Since we went to college together we have a large base of mutual friends, but I totally understand what you’re saying about the balance between the two guest lists. I suppose all I can say is that when it’s my wedding day, I know the people who I care about the most will be there, and the same for him. It may be a bit off balance, but that’s destined to happen in a lot of weddings…maybe talk to your Fiance and see if there’s anyone on the list that isn’t a do-or-die invite? We had to cut back on some of his list so we could try to balance it more too. Good luck!