(Closed) Guest list woes

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would start off by making some rules to help yourself eliminate people.  have you seen/talked to them in the past year and a half or so?  also, decide where you are going to cut off family- first cousins only, no cousins, etc.

also, making a decision about kids and plus ones will be helpful.  just be sure not to snub anyone in a serious relationship with a plus one!  (this has happened to me before, and it is not fun)

Post # 4
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I totally understand.

What finally helped me was if I celebrated their birthday.  To me, b’days are important events.  So, if I took the time to send you a card or would be invited to your party, you were ‘in’.  For those that I either didn’t know their b’day or would never invite them to my own, they were ‘out’.  Obviously, there’s some wiggle room with this… but it really helped me prioritize.

Family gets a little trickier with cousins, etc… you have to decide how many people you want to offend.  My theory is if you haven’t talked to them in years, it doesn’t really matter if they get offended or not.


Post # 5
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I invited first cousins and their families and others that were important to me. Plus ones were only for serious relationships/marriage and then their names were put on the invites.

My grandmother is having problems with understanding why I am not inviting people I don’t even know that are family members, but she hasn’t given me the invites so it is working itself out as well.

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